Welcome to Interesting If True, the podcast that encourages you to date… poorly.
I’m your host this week, Shea, and with me are: Aaron and Steve
I’m Aaron, and I had to go to r/ShowerThoughts for today’s lesson because I’m a hoser.
I’m Steve, and I’m just glad to be here today… also tacos are good.
Round Table: DQ Bingo turn out and such
This Week’s Beer
- Shea: 8
- Steve: 6
- Aaron: 8
The Dating Game Where Nobody Wins
While helping my single friend, well, help is a strong word. While trying to torment my single friend I stumbled on a trove of really niche dating websites. From diaper lovers to hot sauce meet-ups with just about everything in between. Now to stand out, these websites try to be creative with their names, most of the time it just ends up confusing, as I was telling my wife some of the names and we had a fun time trying to figure out what their “kink” was.
So today I have scoured the web and found some really “great,” terrible dating sites and I will challenge Aaron and Steve to figure out who they are catering to. All of these websites are real or were real at one time. So today I give you, The Dating Game where nobody wins!
- Our first weird dating app from the corners of the web is http://www.bristlr.com/. What sort of people is Bristlr looking for?
- -Bearded people and beard lovers. From their website
“Part social network, part dating service, Bristlr has become the world’s favorite beard-centric app.
Started as something of a joke in October 2014 by then-28-year-old John Kershaw, Bristlr has now created more than half a million connections between those with beards, and those who want to stroke them. The app has grown into a fully-fledged and feature-rich dating service used in more than 100 cities worldwide.
Bristlr is available on the web at bristlr.com, and as a free Android and iOS app.”
If you are looking for something a bit less hairy I might suggest Stache Passions which has a lot cheaper looking website and any dates probably come with a free kidney removal https://stachepassions.com/
- Luxy at https://www.onluxy.com/ has been around since 2014 and has apparently helped pair over 3 million people across the globe, which seems like a lot. They bill themselves as matching sophisticated and successful singles. New users to Luxy will be prompted to select their favorite brands such as Prada, Gucci, and Cartier. Your favorites show up at the bottom of your profile so that when you’re shopping for a date, you can bond over your preferred brands… Who is Luxy for?
- Millionaires not Sugar Daddys
An initial profile review during the first 24h or the photo verification is highly esteemed by our members. These features help keep the Luxy community excellent and safe. An additional highlight is Luxy’s Income Verification with which wealthy members are able to find matches within the same economic brackets when verifying their income or assets.
They make sure to check your financials so you can pair with a similar tax bracket… a Very good-looking website though with lots of stock photos of pretty people and 5-star testimonies that don’t really testify to anything. Def a great app to look into. Oh, and it once referred to itself as “Tinder, minus the poor people.”
- Positive Singles.com https://www.positivesingles.com/ where you can “Stay Positive, Find Love, Support, and Hope.” They currently have almost 2.5 million registered members and it’s worth mentioning that the app keeps your identity a secret until you’re ready for the relationship to move forward. This app boasts live dating support and counseling for positive singles. Similar sites like https://www.mpwh.com/, https://hwerks.com/ , and https://meetpositives.com/ all exist for the same clientele who are…?
- People with STDs or STIs
- These are all great sites and resources for individuals suffering from different STDs and wanting to keep healthy and find love. The names might be misleading at first but I would have to say it’s much better than the site https://www.herpesfish.com/ which is incredibly similar but has the worst name ever.
- Here is a picture of a real herpes fish, I don’t think I want a date.
- There are similar dating apps for people with other medical conditions also. http://www.prescription4love.com/ is a dating and friendship service geared toward people with special health conditions and diseases not necessarily STDs.
- People with STDs or STIs
- Wingman was a very brief dating app that popped up back in 2014 that I’m never sure it really took off from the ground. It would have worked much like tinder but would have had a lot smaller range, like tons smaller, like 500 feet or so. It would work off of wifi but if that was unavailable it would work off Bluetooth as well. This app was geared mostly to hooking up but in a very specific place, where?
- To join the mile-high club on an airplane.
- It looks like the site never launched which I think is a good thing as it probably wouldn’t have survived Covid. There is another https://www.wingmanapp.com/ which allows your friends to play matchmaker and do the swiping while the prospective suitors reach out to you. Which is admittedly less creepy than a hook-up in a cramped dirty bathroom with a stranger at 30,000 feet.
- To join the mile-high club on an airplane.
- Pronounced “thrinder,” I had to look up how to say it because I don’t know what sound the number 3 makes. 3nder is a Facebook-authenticated dating app that’s more open-minded than the average dating app. It provides a wealth of options for gender identity and sexual orientation. Oh oops, they got sued by Tinder for copyright infringement… Now Feeld, https://feeld.co/, They “believe nothing is more unpredictable or less binary than human relationships. This is why we created Feeld, where everyone can be honest with themselves while being responsible towards others.” Who is this app for?
- Threesomes and nontraditional relationships
- “Feeld was founded by two people who inspired each other to change the world. Dimo and Ana had been together for two years when Ana uneasily admitted she also had feelings for a woman. Unsettled that something so human could provoke fear and confusion, Dimo created Feeld – a space where people like him and Ana could date as a couple and meet like-minded humans.
- Threesomes and nontraditional relationships
Today, Feeld is on a mission to open up the future of human connection through normalizing sexual desire.”
- Once Howlr but now Barq, https://barq.social/, this dating app turned social network could be for you. What are they looking for?
- Barq is your home base if you enjoy dressing up as an animal and being involved with someone who enjoys playing dress up like an animal. Who needs foreplay when you can have furplay, I suppose.
- There are loads of Furry dating sites but their names were either super obvious or super dirty… I’ll let you look those up on your own time.
- Maybe you’re looking to date someone who is into the same things as you, if you were my wife you might start at Sizzl, a now-retired dating app made for lovers of what? Hint: it’s almost the opposite of Jdate.com.
- Bacon Lovers
- Oscar-Meyer started this semi facetious dating website back in 2015. This “totally real dating app” allows people to “specify their bacon preferences in a customizable profile, upload photos, and start swiping through profiles of local fellow bacon lovers, with the ability to message and meet up.
- Bacon Lovers
After downloading the app, users are thrown into a bacon questionnaire where they are asked to specify such deeply personal preferences as to whether they prefer pork or turkey bacon or whether they enjoy their bacon crispy or chewy, in addition to a number of other judgment calls that deeply reflect on their character.
This isn’t the first food-sponsored dating app I have seen either. In 2013 JustSalad, a NY-based fast food joint launched SaladMatch and its Tinder-like interface that lets you swipe left or right on other salad-loving singles based on their salad preferences, their Just Salad location, and what time of day they usually go to Just Salad. Soup or salad or just super lame?
- Are you a little creepy? A fan of darker things? Then Dead-Meet is for you. Unfortunately, it went belly up in 2019 but before that, it was a wonderful app for meet-ups and dates for individuals looking for what?
- People working with the dead
- Dead Meet is a dating and networking site to enables people in the death industry to meet like-minded individuals.
- People working with the dead
Whether you have a background in pathology, organize funerals for a living, or are a medical historian looking for a research collaboration then feel free to join Dead Meet.
Taxidermists, SOCOs, Crematorium Techs, anatomists, and APTs should all feel at home here.
If you’ve been dying to meet someone who shares your interests, you’ve come to the right place!
We have all heard of the 1-10 number scale for hotness but I was sad to find that 7OrBetter.com, https://7orbetter.com/, had nothing to do with that scale. Instead, 7 or better is for people looking for what?
Something that needs to be 7 or more inches in length…
We are the LARGEST well endowed dating site on the net. As seen on the show The Doctors. Welcome to 7orbetter.com, the well-endowed dating site and personal service for big penis dating. We cater to well-endowed men and those who appreciate them because we understand size matters. Looks, humor, and intelligence are just an example of what initially draws us to another person. But if we are really truthful, there are other reasons. Some of us want a guy with a big dick. Is it wrong to like men with big dicks? We think not.
Since most dating isn’t done while you are sleeping there is Awake Dating, https://awake.dating/, a very paired down website with very little information on its homepage.
After looking at the homepage, what is this dating service for?
- If you said for weird-ass conspiracy theorists, you’d be right
- From the website
Many other ridiculous dating apps didn’t work in today’s quiz but that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to learn about those too.
My personal favorite and perfect dating app for Wyoming is Sea Captain Date, https://www.seacaptaindate.com/, a site to help you find your “first mate”, this one is perfect because we live in a landlocked state!
“At Sea Captain Date, we specialize in helping lonely Sea Captains like you find their match. Tired of embarking upon endless voyages on unseaworthy mainstream dating sites which seem to only ever end in disappointment? Why not chart a fresh course and make Sea Captain Date your first port of call for romance online? After all, we are the only website in the world built from the ground up with the noble goal of connecting Sea Captains and the people who love them.”
I think the best part about this site is the genders you can pick from, Woman, Man, or Sea Captain. My preferred gender of course is Sea Captain and my preferred pronouns are Yarr/Me Hardy.
There is also Can do Better,http://www.candobetter.com/, which has a very unique approach to dating. The idea behind Can Do Better dating site is for you to create a profile of yourself and your current partner. The site’s visitors will vote for the one between you and your partner who deserves better. The one with the highest score will then be granted access to the website to look for someone better… What a way to break up!
For those of us who find it difficult to look into the mirror or just have low self-esteem, there is https://www.uglyschmucks.com/. From their home page:
“Are people not seeing your inner beauty, are you an Ugly Schmuck?!
Welcome to the elite ugly dating site exclusively for Ugly Schmucks
In today’s day and age, searching for a partner can be such a daunting task. Especially if you’re like a lot of us who are not that attractive.
Our Ugly Dating is geared towards people who may feel unattractive or uncomfortable in their own skin and is designed to help them succeed in meeting others who value genuine personality over outer appearance.”
Great idea, terrible name.
If you’re still hooked on hairy men then maybe Mullet Passions, https://mulletpassions.com/, is for you.
“Yeah, that’s right! It’s business up front, and a PARTY in the back! A 100% free social networking & online dating site specifically for singles with a mullet…and for those with the taste and style to appreciate these unique trendsetters. Browse the ‘Mullet Groups’ section to find members based on the style of their mullet, classic, mudflap or spiky. Or find members who enjoy recreational activities like wrestling, country music or monster trucks. Sign up now for free personals, mullet chat, mullet message boards & email.”
I’m gonna pass on this one too.
The final site I want to introduce you to is mainly to give you nightmares, the people all look respectable and I’m sure they are all lovely but something about Clown Dating.com, https://www.clowndating.com/, sends shivers down my spine. Also the tag line, “Everybody loves a clown…let a clown love you.
“It’s no fun looking for love when you’re a clown, behind all the make-up and the red nose is a lonely heart. Clowns are unique entertainers loved by some yet feared and hated by others. Luckily Clown Dating is here to help. If you are a Clown, a Clown Wannabe, or simply a Clown Lover you have come to the right place. Clown Dating offers a community for single entertainers to chat, have fun and arrange dates. Being on the road all the time can make it hard to find someone close by, but with members from towns and cities all over the world hooking up has never been easier. Join the Clown Community today and browse through the wide variety of members we have to offer you. You don’t have to be called Coco, or Cathy to join!”
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Quiz By The Numbers
Interested in what we have to say about this story?
Good news, it’s available right now to subscribers at Patreon.com/iit!
As we continue to fight the plague that has taken over Wrathful studios I’ve again had to dive directly into the development of a dose of QI duplication.
For today’s show, we’ve done the maths and the numbers don’t quite add up,
He’s shown his work but Yeti division is surprisingly short, Shea!
He’s statistically significant even if his “p” value doesn’t rise to the occasion, Steve!
Starting our lengthy list at the least, it’s 0!
Patient 0, that is. And no, I don’t mean Jenn.
Panel, where did the term patient 0 originate?
“Patient 0” actually never was. During the 1980s AIDS epidemic, the term patient 0 was commonly understood to mean Gaetan Dugas, a man diagnosed with AIDS early in the epidemic. He would soon thereafter be propagandized by the San Francisco Chronicler as the main vector for the disease and its rapid spread.
Unfortunately, that was all a typo.
The term “Patient 0” hadn’t really been invented yet. Medical forms at the time often added details about patients in shorthand. In Dugas’s case, he was marked as “Patient O” or a “patient outside of California.” Tragically for him, at some point, the “O” was mistaken for a “0” and the label stuck. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Index_case
Incrementing away from AIDS to something that’s just about as fun: taxes! Panel, what’s a rule of taxation our listeners probably haven’t heard the first thing about?
It turns out that 1’s are far more important to your taxes than 0’s. While we all might want more 0’s involved… depending on the directionality of the cash flow I suppose… the 1’s are far more likely to get you audited thanks to some dick named Benford. Benford’s Law is a mathematical law that is also sometimes known as the First Digit Law, Digit Phenomenon, or the Leading Digit Phenomenon because mathematicians aren’t wordsers. The Law stipulates that while one might expect 1 to have an even distribution in a data set, for example, you might expect to see the number 1 11.1% of the time because… well… there are 9 digits. However, because of its frequent use as a leading digit, 10’s, 100’s, 1000’s, etc, the number 1 usually appears as a leading digit about 30% of the time. As opposed to 9’s less than 5% for example. So, in 1972 Hal Varian suggested that it could be used to detect fraud in lists of socio-economic data. A system based upon Benford’s Law was devised by Dr. Mark Nigrini to help crack fraud cases in Brooklyn, New York. The idea underlying Nigrini’s system said that if the numbers in a tax return more or less match the frequencies and ratios set down by Benford’s Law, then they are probably real. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Benford%27s_law#Accounting_fraud_detection
So there you go, singles aren’t just important for strippers. I dunno. Pun.
Speaking of strippers, I’m sure we’ve all heard the joke about the lady who won 1st and 3rd place in the wet t-shirt contest… what other way might a person be recognized for two, seemingly antithetical, Guinness records?
This is the very unusual story of Adam Rainer. Born in Graz Austria in 1899 he tried to enlist during WWI but at 4’6.3″ he was too short. At nearly 2″ below the 4’10” cut-off, he was considered a dwarf. While too short to serve it was noted that the guy had enormous, massive, hands and feet…
And to answer the questions, no, he doesn’t have that record. Three years later Rainer’s shoe size had doubled from a men’s 10 to a men’s 20. But it didn’t stop there. Over the course of the next decade, he grew to a towering 7’1″. Bug how, you might ask. Well, it turns out he had acromegaly. Basically, a tumor in his pituitary gland led to an overproduction of growth hormones. At the time of his death at 51, the dwarf stood an impressive-by-any-Hobbit’s-standard 7 foot 8. Making him the only man to have had two seemingly antithetical syndromes, both dwarfism, and gigantism. https://www.businessinsider.com/adam-rainer-was-both-a-dwarf-and-a-giant-2015-1?r=UK
From two disparate diseases to three numerologist numing, what’s the world’s most “odd” natural disaster. (Odd being the number here)
As if it were trying to terrify the troubled team of tinfoil touting numerologists, a powerful undersea earthquake rocked the Japanese island of Honshu at 2:32 am on the 3rd day of the 3rd month of 1933. Shortly thereafter a 30m tsunami came ashore killing 3,000 people and leveling a third of the nearby city which contained a third of the prefecture’s population. The quake measured 8.9 in magnitude and was the largest recorded at the time. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/March_1933#March_3,1933(Friday)
From disastrous thirds to sweet fourths, panel, what is the fourth kind of chocolate?
Ruby chocolate and pink rabbits need not apply. Following its three more known kin, dark, milk, and white chocolate (despite white chocolate being neither white nor chocolate) the fourth kind of chocolate, Ruby, was introduced to the world in 2017 by Barry Callebaut, a Belgian-Swiss cocoa company. It’s been under development since 2004 and is made from Ruby cocoa beans. The beans, like any other cocoa, can be fermented into chocolate but these have the unique properties of being heavily colored in a reddish-pink hue. The Chocolate is described as “sweet yet sour” and can, apparently, be imitated in exactly the way you hoped, by combining white chocolate, raspberries, and milk … or … you know … getting some red Nesquick mix and doing that shit up right! While not yet widely available you can get pink Kit-Kats in Korea and soon Haagen Dazs will shit Ruby Cocoa ice cream bars. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ruby_chocolate
And so a new kind of chocolate was developed by the skilled science chocolatiers in the EU proving that education is key to critical, societal, development. What country takes their standardized test academic honesty to alarming extremes?
It’s Uzbekistan of course.
So preoccupied with academic integrity is Uzbekistan that the Uzbek government stopped all internet and SMS traffic in the country for 5 hours during the national college entrance exams. Billed as an “urgent maintenance work on telecommunications networks” the hours of nationwide outage matched those of the national college entrance exam perfectly and has since become a tradition. Each year some 400 to 450k students vie for a mere 50 to 60k seats in the country’s universities. Apparently, the system was so contentious that it had become common to cheat or bribe one’s way into a school. Now all tests are administered after a pat-down, in a locked room, and all digital connectivity is simply switched off nationwide. Most places would consider that an extreme measure, but then the Uzbek people are fairly accustomed to their dictatorial government dialing shit up to 11.
I’m Shea, and this week I learned that sex before marriage is a sin unless you do it doggy style because all dogs go to Heaven. Before we go I’d like to thank all our listeners, supporters, and my co-hosts.
We’d like the extend a special thanks to our newest patrons:
Find out more about the show, social links, and contact information at InterestingIfTrue.com.
The music for this episode was created by Wayne Jones and was used with permission.
The opinions, views, and nonsense expressed in this show are those of the hosts only and do not represent any other people, organizations, or lifeforms.
All rights reserved, Interesting If True 2020.
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