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In this week’s show, episode 121, The Grand Mufti’s labia are glued to an online preachers dick until they both leave Ark Encounter and vote PORP.
Now, grab a beer and help us test the god hypothesis — because, while Dagda (The Irish-Celtic god of the earth and treaties) hasn’t struck us down yet, we are trying his patience!
Shea’s Life Lesson
This week I learned that celery is 95% water and 100% not tacos.
Jenn’s Actual Lesson
Did you know recently passed actor Bill Paxton was raised a Roman Catholic by his mother? The star of Aliens, Titanic and Big Love seemed to find it…amusing.
“I was raised Catholic, and when we take communion, the wafer is a symbol of the body and blood of Christ. Somebody could think, ‘What the hell? There’s a guy on the cross, he’s been tortured and killed and these people are symbolically eating his body?’”
But before we get to all that, let’s have a beer!
This Week’s Beer
Palor Hoppenbetontes Pale Ale - Braufactum
Donated by German Denis!
BA Score: 84
BA Link: http://bit.ly/2kwbrCJ
This Week’s Show
Round Table Discussion
Voicemails and Text Messages:
Hey, this is Patrick from Virginia. I love the show, I’m not a drinker but love the beer reviews. Keep up the awesome work guys and lady and shea
We also got a great voicemail from uber-fan Tara!
Also, thanks for the recent tweet correction, I super appreciate it! ~ A
We also got a message from Don,
Hi, guys, one of you(r) fellows just said. he didn’t want to see Jen ‘hooked up to and automatic milker’. He missed the follow-up manual milking is so much more fun! I enjoy the show and thanks.
Speaking of milking things - we’re going to ReasonCon in April, which means March is your last chance to subscribe to patreon if you want to support our trip!
If deadlines or Patreon aren’t your bag, you can always support us on PayPal, through our Amazon link or by giving us reviews and - as Matt & Tim or Atheism 101 call them - internet high-fives in the form of likes and follows.
What The World Really Needs Is Another Feminine Hygiene Product Created By A Man - http://bit.ly/2mxunBI
Chiropractor, “Dr” Daniel Dopps, of Wichita, Kansas, has invented super glue for the pussy to hold in that nasty, nasty period stuff
The still in development product is called Mensez Feminine Lip-Stick. Clever huh?
What it does is basically glue the labia minora together such that menstrual fluid is held inside until urinating, when the glue releases letting it all out.
This has understandably caused some uproar online with many accusing him of not understanding the female anatomy and straight up misogyny
I’m guessing this isn’t a product for those women who pee a bit when they sneeze
Responding to a commenter, he said,
“You as a woman should have come up with a better solution than diapers and plugs, but you didn’t. Reason being women are focused on and distracted by your period 25 percent of the time, making them far less productive than they could be. Women tend to be far more creative than men, but their periods that [sic] stifle them and play with their heads.”
From the ‘shocking but true’ file, Ark Park Not an Economic Boom - http://bit.ly/2m0Bm2I
The Ark Encounter theme park was partially funded with tons of economic incentives from Kentucky and Williamstown with the understanding that this big, new attraction would drive up local economic activity
Well, it seems it hasn’t turned out that way. Judge-executive, Steve Wood, said, ““It’s been a great thing but it’s not brought us any money,” How is that great now?
Right now, Grant county is on the edge of bankruptcy, to the point where there may be lost jobs.
Grant county has the same number of non-chain restaurants and hotels it had in Dec. 2015 even though they voted to make the county “wet” (which is also ironic since Hamm is a believer in non-drinking)
“I was one of those believers that once the Ark was here everything was going to come in. But it’s not done it. It’s not done it. I think the Ark’s done well and I’m glad for them on that. But it’s not done us good at all.”
Marital Rape is A-Ok in Ohio - http://ind.pn/2m0vOFJ
It is legal for a man to drug and rape his wife in Ohio as long as he doesn’t use, ‘force or the threat of force’
State reps, Reps. Greta Johnson (D-Akron) and Kristin Boggs (D-Columbus) tried to eliminate spousal exemptions for sex offenses.
According to the Akron Beacon Journal, “In Ohio, husbands or wives can rape their spouses so long as there is no force or threat of force. The “spousal exemption” means husbands can drug and rape wives, and avoid a first-degree felony rape charge.”
Rep. Johnson, a former prosecutor, said,
“Women and men experiencing sexual violence at the hands of their spouses should not be denied the right to seek justice just because they happen to be married to the offender.I am appalled that there is not a larger discussion in our state about this issue. I am deeply disappointed that none of my Republican colleagues signed on as co-sponsors to this bill.”
It seems that as long as Ohio’s GOP is controlled by Christian zealots, women will remain 2nd class citizens.
This Week’s Stories
Jenn Doth Protest Too Much
Thanks to listener Alan for pointing me towards this story!
Mack Major, the living embodiment of ‘methinks he doth protest too much’. - http://huff.to/2m0xTkS
Eden Decoded: http://bit.ly/2m0FRL0
An excerpt from Major’s book, Diva, Goddess, Queen: Breaking The Power Of Soul Ties, Lust And Sexual Demons.
“Many of you who are reading this have sex toys in your possession right now. And whether you want to accept it as fact or not: those sex toys are an open portal between the demonic realm and your own life. As long as you have those sex toys in your home, you have a doorway that can allow demons to not only access your life at will but also to torment you, hinder and destroy certain parts of your life as it relates to sex and your relationships.”
Another excerpt from a book called Hedonism: Destroying Demonic Sexual Strongholds:
“There are such things as sex demons. And the danger in masturbating is that one could inadvertently summon a sex demon to attach itself to you through the act of masturbating. And once that demon attaches, it is difficult to get it to leave. It will drive you to masturbate, even when you don’t want to. You’ll be hit with urges to play with yourself so powerful that only an orgasm will allow you some temporary relief.”
How To Not Eat Your Wife
Top Saudi Sheikh issues bizarre fatwa allowing men to EAT their wives if they are hungry - http://bit.ly/2m0xRJG
Saudi Arabian grand mufti Sheikh Abdul Aziz bin Abdullah allegedly issued the guidelines to allow a husband to eat his wife’s body parts in extreme circumstances.
Men in Saudi Arabia “can eat their wives if they are suffering severe hunger” under a bizarre new fatwa
The cleric is reported to have said the ruling represents the “sacrifice of women and obedience to her husband”
A statement reportedly from the cleric’s office said: “A fatwa attributed to the Mufti of Saudi Arabia, Abdul Aziz bin Abdullah, which allows a man to eat his wife or parts of her body if the husband was afflicted with a severe hunger, raised concern and debate over social media since yesterday evening.
The Patron’s Sexy Beating
Former Members Say Church Controls Sex Lives, Behavior With Violent Punishment - http://bit.ly/2mxFQkQ
Forty-three former members of an evangelical church in western North Carolina say they were subjected to years of emotional and physical abuse, according to The Associated Press.
Ex-congregants of the Word of Faith Fellowship in Rutherford County told The Associated Press in on-the-record interviews that instead of finding inner peace and eternal life, they were regularly punched, smacked, choked, slammed to the floor or thrown through walls in the name of the Lord.
Victims of the violence, they say, included pre-teens and toddlers - even crying babies, who were vigorously shaken, screamed at and sometimes smacked to banish demons.
The Associated Press also obtained audio from what is called “blasting.” The Associated Press said a “blasting” is a verbal onslaught often conducted in hours-long sessions meant to cast out devils.
To hear the audio, click http://bit.ly/2m0HrfA (but really, you don’t want to…)
Five members of the Rutherford County church are expected to stand trial this spring after being indicted by a North Carolina grand jury on charges of assault, kidnapping and attempted strangulation of Matthew Fenner, who was allegedly beaten in January 2013.
Fenner says he was beaten in the church after a service by parishioners who were trying to “cure him of being gay.”
Next Week’s Beer
Ale To The Chief - Avery
BA Link: http://bit.ly/2kwgNxZ
BA Score: 90
Style: American Strong Ale
Faith In Humanity Restored
SLOVENIA: Same-Sex Marriage Becomes Legal Today! - http://bit.ly/2mxAGoN
Ksenija Klampfer, who administers weddings in Maribor, said the first lesbian ceremony was set to take place on Saturday. “We are very happy and proud that we will perform the first same-sex wedding,”
Bonus Cat Video
Jun’s Kitchen - Homemade Ramen with Cat (not like that, jeez. It’s a small orange fluffy chef… we’re not monsters…) - http://bit.ly/2mxI8Aa
Cats Who Don’t Understand Personal Space - http://bit.ly/2mxNHil
The Highly Scientific Anatomy Of A Cat - http://bit.ly/2mxNH1P
Bonus Catless Videos
Infrared Oregan - http://bit.ly/2m0R9ik
Gordon Ramsay Answers Cooking Questions From Twitter - http://bit.ly/2mxz5zd
Join The DiscussionWe’d love to hear from you! To comment on a show or suggest a brew visit our web, Twitter or Facebook pages. As always, we’d love to get a good rating on iTunes or Stitcher!
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