Episode 139 – The One Where We Spice Up Our Bud’s Clam…ato

In this week’s show, episode 139, we swipe right on mining Zionist Jews for HIV on Mars

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  • 0:00 Introduction
  • 0:30 Intro
  • 3:09 This Week's Beer - Bud Light & Clamato Chelada
  • 13:53 Round Table
  • 18:49 HL1 - Keep Jesus In Your Butt
  • 25:53 Hl2 - Drill Deeper For Jesus
  • 33:13 HL3 - Swipe Right To Abort!
  • 44:45 Bring Down That Wall!
  • 52:44 Faith In Humanity Restored
  • 55:55 Next Week's Beer - Shipyard Brewing Co.
  • 58:12 Outro - Thanks 4 Listening!
  • 58:37 Outtakes
In this week’s show, episode 139, we swipe right on mining Zionist Jews for HIV on Mars! Now, grab a beer and help us test the god hypothesis — because, while Ogoun - Yoruba god of rum and unpleasantly cold, flame retardant testicles (Yes, really) hasn’t struck us down yet, we are trying their patience! Jenn’s Actual Lesson Did you know that rum was given to sailors in the Royal Navy mixed with lime juice to prevent scurvy? I doubt it helped their aim, though. But before we get to all that, let’s have a beer!

This Week’s Beer

Bud Light & Clamato Chelada - Anheuser-Busch From fan, via Twitter, @CraigDeFarmer
  • BA Link: http://bit.ly/2tvCbrd
  • BA Rating: 49
  • Style: Fruit / Vegetable Beer
  • ABV: 4.2%
  • Aaron: 0
  • Jenn: 6
  • Vice: 5
  • Steve: 0

This Week’s Show

Round Table Discussion Texts We got a text message from an awesome listener who sent us a cool ukiyo-e style Civil War poster, love it! Thanks for listening to the show and stay safe out there eh! We deeply appreciates the unsolicited duckling image. It’s from one of her favorite cartoons! I would also like to apologize to new listener Chris G, who wrote:
“I started listening to you guys since the promo from cognitive dissonance and I've noticed something: Jen and Shea have not been on the same episode yet so I was wondering if they are in fact one trans-folic fluid person?”
I apologize, I did indicate we would be recording together for the Clamato Clash of 2017, but Shea had to run away for the long holiday weekend. iTunes Beer and Blasphemy by CorruptPhoenix (United States)
Do you love good beer and fabulously blasphemy? Then you will love this podcast. The cast fights the good fight against religious BS while ensuring that no one has to drink horrible beer that you might think is good just because it's "craft".
Brilliant blasphemy at its best by The_Sane_Wonko (United States)
This is a wonderful show that I never miss. Aaron, Shea, and Steve are hilarious in their own wonderful and special way. Jenn is even more hilarious and is the heart and mind of the show. Now and then Big Gay Jim stops by the show to drop a glitter bomb of brilliant awesomeness. If you love beer and skepticism this is the show for you. Many thanks for making my Fridays that much better.
Today’s episode is recorded in front of a live studio audience!

Headlines

Keep Jesus In Your Butt - http://bit.ly/2tO1STx
  • Topless Feminists went to Vatican Square where they shoved crucifixes up their butts
  • Two of them had “Keep it Inside” scrawled across their backs, an apparent reference to their anger that the Pope’s activities extend beyond the tiny papal enclave in Rome.
  • Police immediately swarmed on the women as bemused tourists snapped photographs. Covering the woman's bared breasts with coats, the cops dragged them off, with one of the women crying: “The pope is not a politician, God is not a magician.”
  • What to do with them?
  • According to the story, they need to be locked up a stoned to death
  • This is what should happen to these wretches. They should be punished just as Jehu killed Jezebel when he had some eunuchs “threw her down, and some of her blood spattered on the wall and on the horses, and he trampled her underfoot.” (2 Kings 32)
  • These reprobate Devils need to be punished just as Phineas, with fiery zeal, killed Zimri and his Midianite harlot. It is quite beautiful how the profound Scripture describes how this awesome warrior of Heaven “rose from among the congregation and took a javelin in his hand; and he went after the man of Israel into the tent and thrust both of them through, the man of Israel, and the woman through her body.” (Numbers 25:7-8)
  • So yeah, that’s all pretty fucked up
They probably should have just started a podcast... Drill Deep For Jesus - http://n.pr/2tO20T1
  • Zion Oil and Gas is a Dallas, [Texas-based hydrocarbon exploration company; its principal assets are the three license blocks in northern [Israel.
  • Because who better knows how to find oil than the chosen people of God… who somehow wound up with the only godforsaken speak of dirt in the middle east without oil under it…
  • I believe Zion Oil & Gas was ordained by G-d for the express purpose of discovering oil and gas in the Land of Israel and to bless the Jewish people and the nation of Israel and the body of Christ (Isaiah 23:18 NIV). I believe that G-d has promised in the Bible to bless Israel with one of the world’s largest oil and gas fields, and this will be discovered in the last days before the Messiah returns and that it will be found on the Joseph License and the Asher/Menashe License, both being on the Head of Joseph (Genesis 49:1-2 and 22-26)
  • "God creates this. He provides the money and the place where to drill. Now why we haven't got the oil yet, I don't know. I have never drilled one oil well I didn't expect to find oil," says John Brown, Zion founder & CEO.
"I was an alcoholic that God saved, took me from being in the tool business and sent me to Israel and told me he was gonna do something. Zion Oil & Gas was nothing. I didn't even think about something like that at that point," Brown says.
  • Zion's motto is "geology confirming theology."
  • Zion Oil is listed on the Nasdaq stock exchange. Since going public in 2000, the company has burned through $130 million. According to Morningstar, Zion's stock has lost 90 percent of its value in the past five years.
"Well, I used to have a lot more money in it than I do now. The stock I bought has tremendously decreased in value over time," Barron says. "But with my belief that God is in charge of all of it and it's all his anyway, I think the upside of betting on God is pretty good."
Swipe Right To Abort! - http://slate.me/2tNFHwG
  • With the help of an app developed by the anti-abortion Human Coalition, it was easy! I saved real-live babies from the clutches of money-grubbing abortion providers with just a couple dozen swipes of my right thumb as if I were paging through Tinder or wiping a little schmutz off the screen of my phone.
  • “Human Coalition.”
  • The organization, which calls abortion “the [worst holocaust in human history” and hopes it will become “unthinkable and unavailable in our lifetime,” runs crisis pregnancy centers (CPCs) in the Atlanta, Pittsburgh, Dallas, and Raleigh, North Carolina, metro areas and has connections to more than 30 other CPCs around the country.
“Someone considering an abortion in Charlotte, North Carolina contacted a center,”
  • An “impact” tab records how many prayers a user has performed, how many babies she’s helped save, and how many total babies Human Coalition has saved since its founding.
“If you’ve prayed for a woman who decides to keep her baby, you can be encouraged that, through prayer, you’ve helped save a child from abortion.”

This Week’s Stories

Bring Down That Wall! No, no... the lamer one. Utah’s Irrational “Zion Curtains” Law Is No Longer In Effect
  • http://bit.ly/2tNrT5o
  • http://bayareane.ws/2tNK3nG
Patreons From Mars! **The Mauritian… kids **- Alex Jones Guest: Children Are Being Kidnapped And Sent On Spaceships To Slave Colonies On Mars http://bit.ly/2tNIsxT
“There are no humans on Mars,”
NASA spokesperson Guy Webster told The Daily Beast in a statement.
“There are active rovers on Mars. There was a rumor going around last week that there weren’t. There are.”

Next Week's Beer

Shipyard Brewing Co. - Summer Ale From James and Susan
  • BA Link: http://bit.ly/2tNWkIE
  • BA Rating: 72
  • Style: American Pale Wheat Ale
  • ABV: 5.1%

Faith In Humanity Restored

Strangers buy car for 20-year-old Texas man who walks 3 miles to work every day - http://cbsn.ws/2tO8jWK When Andy Mitchell spotted a young man in a fast food uniform walking along the side of a road on a 95-degree summer day in Rockwall, Texas, he felt compelled to pull over. He rolled down his window and offered the man, a 20-year-old named Justin Korva, a ride -- not knowing how much that small gesture would impact the man's life.

Bonus Cat Video

Telling Real Scientologists About Scientology! - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Hzdp8fl5OY Batman: Realm of Shadows 1 - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Q8vs-UJMaQ Rick and Morty Season 3 Trailer - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DeAw6aXHzcY

Join The Discussion

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