Episode 162 – The One With The Hero We Need… And Deserve?

In This Week’s Show, episode 162, a six-year-old deity calls 1-800-Batman to stop Patty praying for him!

In This Week’s Show, episode 162, a six-year-old deity calls 1-800-Batman to stop Patty praying for him!

Now, grab a beer and help us test the god hypothesis — because, while Pilumnus (Roman Nature Deity)  hasn’t struck us down yet, we are trying his patience!

Shea’s Life Lesson

This week I have a question… What are the proper seasons greeting for a car salesman? Will I offend anyone if I wish them a Happy Honda Days, or should I go with a Merry Toyotathon? I guess I could just say Happy winter car sale season…

Jenn’s Actual Lesson

In Roman mythology, Pilumnus (“staker”) was a nature deity. He ensured children grew properly and stayed healthy. Ancient Romans made an extra bed after the birth of a child in order to ensure the help of Pilumnus. He also taught humanity how to grind grain.

A ceremony to honor the deity involved driving a stake into the ground.

But before we get to all that, let’s have a beer!

This Week’s Beer

1554 – New Belgium

“Born of a flood and centuries-old Belgian text, 1554 Black Lager beer uses a lager yeast strain and dark chocolaty malts to redefine what dark beer can be. In 1997, a Fort Collins flood destroyed the original recipe our researcher, Phil Benstein, found in the library. So Phil and brewmaster, Peter Bouckaert, traveled to Belgium to retrieve this unique style lost to the ages. Their first challenge was deciphering antiquated script and outdated units of measurement, but trial and error (and many months of in-house sampling) culminated in 1554, a highly quaffable dark beer with a moderate body and mouthfeel.”

  • BA Link: http://bit.ly/2AKpr3D
  • New Belgium Link: http://bit.ly/2jjgzuK
  • BA Rating: Rating: 88% – ‎1,832 votes
  • Style: Black Lager
  • ABV: 5.6%
  • Aaron: 9
  • Shea: 9
  • Steve: 10

This Week’s Show

Round Table Discussion

A possible follow-up, but really just because these people suck and we think it’s funny, the Australian couple that said they’d divorced if the gays could marry (Nick and Sarah Jensen)… didn’t. Apparently, these hateful assholes really were meant to be together… http://bit.ly/2j2rZ1S

“My previous public comments regarding civil divorce never envisaged me separating from my wife, but rather our marriage from the state,” he said in a text message.

“The legislation currently makes it untenable for us to do this under the law. The point we were highlighting and that still stands, however, is the fact that a redefinition of marriage changes the agreement under which we were originally married.

“We will be making no further comment.”


We have new patrons!

  • Shea’s brother from another Queen-Mother, Dave the British Yeti
  • George Greene is our newest Beer Club Member!

And special thanks to patrons Jaded Zappa and Robert and Amy of Secular Yakking!

  • http://secularyakking.com
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  • https://www.patreon.com/secularyakking

Drunk Dial from Dustin of Atheist Nomads

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This Show Is My Spirit Animal
By: Vxexec350 (Australia)

As an interstate truck driver in Australia, I spend a lot of time alone. It’s great to spend time with friends with common interests. If you like beer, ridiculing the ridiculous and laughing with or at your mates, this show could be your spirit animal too.

Found Jesus
By: doomHmmr

I have been lost. Going through life without purpose. This awesome podcast saved me. They discuss all important topics of the day, pointing out hypocrisy restoring our faith in humanity. I have listened to the entire backlog and it has lifted my spirits. Recommend to everyone looking for their spirits to get lifted. And Steve is my spirit animal. :)


HL1 – Ghost Vibes – http://bit.ly/2j4Bhe4

She is quite spirited in the bedroom by the sounds of it… (Thanks, Tara!)

  • Amethyst Realm, a 27-year-old “spiritual guidance counselor” says she’s had sex with at least 20 ghosts. She prefers them to men.
  • The first experience was 12 years ago, she said after she and her then-fiancé moved into a new house and she felt the presence of a strange entity.

    “It started as an energy, then became physical,” she told British TV show “ITV This Morning”. “There was pressure on my thighs and breath on my neck. I just always felt safe. I had sex with the ghost. You can feel it. It’s difficult to explain. There was a weight and a weightlessness, a physical breath and stroking, and the energy as well.”

  • Realm said she had an affair with the ghost for three years but that it ended when her human husband came home from work early and saw the shadowy shape of a man through the window. Since then, Realm hasn’t strayed from the paranormal pond and says she’s had sexual encounters with at least 20 ghosts.
  • Realm isn’t the first person to claim to have gotten down with a ghost. Singers Bobby Brown and Kesha also say they’ve had supernatural sex sessions.
  • In case you’re curious about how this feels. “The people who report having sex with a ghost report feeling pressure on them and even penetration, but ghosts don’t have warmth. When they’re in the room, it’s a very cold environment.”
  • Now Realm wants to take this relationship to the next level. “I’ve done a bit of research into phantom pregnancies,” she said. ”There’s a possibility that it is a ghost in you, but people don’t know how to carry it to full term.”
  • Psychotherapist Tina Radziszewicz said it’s very possible that ghostly sexual encounters are actually a type of hallucination that occurs during the transition between wakefulness and sleep.
    • “Such hallucinations can be extremely vivid and bizarre, and can include tactile, visual and auditory,” Radziszewicz told the Mirror. “Stress, anxiety, depression and trauma can make people more prone to this form of hallucination.”

HL2 – Lizard People & Thier Finances – http://bit.ly/2BqLWug

This week I learned that God has a paywall too, at least according to Ol Patty

  • This week on the 700 club, our favorite senile grandfather figure answers all the questions with his honest answers.
    • During the show they answer Debra’s question, “I am on unemployment benefits at the moment. My question is: Should I be tithing?”
  • The obvious answer being HELL NO. Take care of yourself and your family, and tell the church to wait until you have a more stable job.
  • That’s not what Skeletor said though…
    • I think if you do, there’s a blessing that God gives… that will be given unto you, so I think if you have unemployment — and I hope you don’t have to have it for long — but once you have, you want God to prosper you and give you employment, so you have something to do. And you can have funds if you can help others. So we give out that which God’s given us to, why not?
  • Let me translate that real quick… Robertson is telling the woman she should offer up a tithe because God will help her if she does. Not only that, but tithing is a way for this woman to get employment.

HL3 – Boom Goes The Racist Bullshit – http://bit.ly/2BpFSC8

6-year-old special needs “terrorist” released in Texas.

But that’s not really how terrorism works, because… the story:

  • A substitute teacher in Texas reportedly called local police to report that a six-year-old student with Down Syndrome was a possible terrorist.
  • The teacher called the police department in Pearland, Texas and claimed the young special needs boy was saying “Allah” and “boom.” That wouldn’t have been cause to involve the police even if it were true, but young Mohammad, who has intellectual difficulties, can’t speak at all and “needs care all the time,” according to his father Maher Suleiman.
  • The teacher’s accusation spurred an investigation by law enforcement officers as well as Child Protective Services. The cops ultimately concluded that there was no need for police involvement, but the CPS investigation remains open, and the father says it’s been hard on the family.
    • “The last three to four weeks have been the hardest of my life,” said Maher. “My wife and kids were crying a few days ago and I told them everything is fine.”
  • This teacher probably traumatized the student — and definitely made life Hell for him and his family — all because the child was Muslim.

This Week’s Stories


  • Babu Gogineni, a former director of the International Humanist and the Ethical Union, is also an excellent debunker of psychics and charlatans in the media
  • The channel ABN Telugu brought on two “pranic healers,” Chandrashekar (the man) and Swarnamala (the woman).
  • Pranic healing is the pseudoscientific idea that energy can heal your body’s problems, “Healers” often charge a lot of money for classes in which they show people how to use their own energy to take care of their loved ones even though, in reality, they’re just selling false hope.
  • These two “healers” in particular were promoting what they called “No Touch No Drug Therapy” in which they cured people of their problems over the phone.
  • But how? Since they were anonymous and far away — he responded by saying there was a magical way to direct the energy toward a specific person.
  • Gogineni stepped in at this point and said there was no way they could heal people over the phone — and that they couldn’t heal people near them with “energy” either. And then he casually noted that men of Chandrashekar’s age, especially in South Asia, tend to have high blood pressures. He wondered if Chandrashekar suffered from that problem as well. He said no.
  • That’s when Gogineni brilliantly whipped out a blood pressure monitor — something even the producers didn’t know about — and asked if he could check. Chandrashekar never saw it coming. Seconds later, the results were in, and his blood pressure was 185/103, which is seriously high.
  • Gogineni then proposed a simple challenge to the other healer, Swarnamala: Use your energy to lower his blood pressure.
  • She declined to do that, saying Chandrashekar could cure his own problems. With the pressure on, Chandrashekar began making some strange hand movements in an attempt to lower his own blood pressure. Too bad the only kind of energy he was capable of producing at this point was the nervous kind.
  • Minutes later, a second reading of Chandrashekar was taken… and his blood pressure was 208/108. In other words, Chandrashekar’s problem had gotten worse.

Seems like this might have been an … older story.
So yeah.

Just enjoy it.

Remember to Be Yourselfhttp://bit.ly/2jmvc01

Unless you can be Batman.

Then you should be Batman.

Want to make your young child have the gumption to work on a boring task? Dress it up as Batman!

Bob the Builder, Rapunzel and Dora the Explorer work too, apparently. But who wants to pretend to be to be a professional chore do-er, a hostage, or an illegal immigrant in this climate?


“Taking a mental step back from one’s own situation could help children persevere in the face of distraction,” the study said.

In the study, 180 4- and 6-year-old children were asked to complete a repetitive task for 10 minutes.

They were placed in control groups. In one, children referred to themselves in the first person when discussing their thoughts and feelings about their tasks. In the second, children referred to themselves in the third person. In the third, the children took on the persona of a exemplary character like Batman or Dora the Explorer.

Children were put to work on repetitive tasks that they were told very important. But they could take breaks by “playing an extremely attractive video game” on an iPad.

No surprise: The kids spent 37 percent of their time on the task and 63 percent on the iPad, the World Economic Forum reported in an article published in coordination with Quartz.

Naturally, 6-year-olds stayed on task longer than 4-year-olds. However, children across both age groups who impersonated a superhero or other character fared the best at staying on task.

Children who took a third-person perspective on the self-did second-best at working on tasks, and those who remained looking at the world from a first-person perspective did the least.

“Perseverance is necessary throughout our lives, from children struggling to sound out each letter on the page as they learn to read, to college students studying organic chemistry late into the night,” the study said. “Whether due to the tedium of the task at hand or the pull of the many more immediate gratifications that abound in our environments, success often requires persisting through some ‘unpleasure.'”

Shit In Japan is Out of Control – http://bbc.in/2B5y8Fg

Just like we are!
Not gonna lie, by the time we got to this one we were half in the bag.

Podcasting is hard work!

Also, this week’s notes begin a new thing we’re doing whereby we’re posting all the show notes here!

Well, it’s not a feature. Each week I’ve been writing up, formatting, copying to Patreon and reformatting the notes each week.
A lot of sites, like Patreon and a few similar sites we’re looking at, don’t allow pasting of formatted text and reformatting the notes on each site eats up a lot of time. So, if the following story looks like something you want to hear us drink out way through… go send us a buck at Patreon. If it was someting worth listening to, thanks for supporting the show! If neither … blame Shea, it’s been working pretty well for me.
~ A

Japanese firm to use drone to force overtime staff to go home

  • A Japanese firm is planning to use a drone to force employees out of their offices by playing music at them if they stay to work evening overtime.
  • The drone will fly through offices after hours playing Auld Lang Syne, which is commonly used to announce that stores are closing.
  • Japan has for years been trying to curb excessive overtime and the health issues and even deaths it can cause.
  • Experts were unimpressed, one branding it a “silly” idea.
  • According to Japanese media, office security and cleaning firm Taisei will develop the device with drone maker Blue Innovation and telecommunications company NTT East.
  • The camera-equipped drone will take flights through the office space playing the famous Scottish tune.
  • “You can’t really work when you think ‘it’s coming over any time now’ and hear Auld Lang Syne along with the buzz,” Norihiro Kato, a director at Taisei, told news agency AFP.
  • Taisei plans to start the drone service in April 2018 as a trial within their own company and later in the year offer it to others.
  • “Will this help? The short answer is: no,” Seijiro Takeshita, professor of management and information at the University of Shizuoka told the BBC.
  • “It’s a pretty silly thing and companies are doing this just because they have to be seen to be doing something on the problem.”
  • The issue of excessive overtime is deeply rooted in the work culture and should be tackled from a more fundamental basis, he argues.
  • “Creating awareness is of course very important – but this is almost a hoax in my opinion.”

Also – fun fact – 150 Yen is $1.32 USD, so yes, I was wrong… but I feel like that’s still in the same ballpark. I mean, it’s not the Canadian Dollar or two years ago’s British Pound… It could be two years from now’s British Pound – boom!
Brexit joke in the show notes, take that Britain!

Also, go you! Think of all the silly people who are going to waste their time letting me know wrong and I am when they could have had the gratification of me knowing I’m wrong, but also telling bad dad jokes!
~ A

Next Week’s Beer

Haybag Hefeweizen – Philipsburg Brewing

From Beer Club Member Ally

  • BA Link: http://bit.ly/2zR5ub7
  • BA Rating: No Score
  • Style: Hefeweizen
  • ABV: 5.5%

Faith In Humanity Restored

Syrian Child Teacher Wins Peace Prize – http://bit.ly/2jjmBeN

  • Mohamad Al Jounde was just 12 years old when he decided to set up a school in the Bekaa Valley refugee camp, enlisting his relatives and volunteers to help construct the building and teach a range of subjects from English and math to photography.
  • “This is not just about teaching reading and writing, but giving young refugees a safe space to express themselves,” the 16-year-old told the Thomson Reuters Foundation by phone.
  • Three years on, the school boasts more than 200 students, some as young as five, several professional teachers and offers gender equality lessons and literacy classes for adult refugees.
  • “I felt happy to be not just a teacher, but a friend, and we became a family – we are stronger together,” said Jounde, the 2017 winner of the annual International Children’s Peace Prize.
  • “It is very important to give these children an education, otherwise they could become a lost generation,” Jounde said.

Bonus Cat Video

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