Episode 201 – The One We Fill Your Headphones With Tainted Love…

Now, grab a beer and help us test the god hypothesis — because, while Te Kuku (the Maori god of earthquakes) hasn’t struck us down yet, we are trying his patience!

Shea’s Life Lesson

This week I learned that if someone starts playing Christmas music in September you are legally allowed to kill them and use their corpse as Halloween decorations.

Jenn’s Actual Lesson

Did you know the Earth appears to have a whole new underground continent called Zealandia? The discovery itself isn’t new – some geologists have been arguing for its existence for many years. However, in 2017 a team of scientists concluded Zealandia fulfills all the requirements to be considered a drowned continent.

But before we get to all that, let’s have a beer!

This Week’s Beer

Traditional Ale | Big Rock Brewery

From: Dodsnow

• BA Link: http://bit.ly/2BCWJmc
• BA Rating: 3.58/5
• Style: English Brown Ale
• ABV: 5%
• Aaron: 8
• Jenn: 5
• Shea: 6
• Steve: 7

This Week’s Show

Round Table Discussion

Patrons!

• Beer Club Member Amie
• Brian

Voicemails

• Lonely Wyoming

iTunes reviews

Laughter, Beer, and poking fun at Beardy Sky-dad
September 6, 2018 by Justpostthegoddamnreview

I’ll save you the trouble of reading reviews. You don’t need to weigh the possible merits of this podcast and carefully decide if it’s for you. Just subscribe. Like a warm blanket on a cold day or a cold pool on a hot day, this podcast will soothe you from head to toe. Come sit with a group of friends, who’ll welcome you happily and hand you some crazy new beer they need help taste testing. Join in with the laughter as they react to so-stupid-they-cannot-possibly-be-true religious stories from all over the world. You will be laughing every moment you’re there. And when that sad time comes that the show draws to a close, take solace in the fact that these fine people put out so much new content your podcast queue will literally explode. Like Sisyphus’ happier cousin, you’ll avoid pushing a rock endlessly up a hill, and instead push condensed joy straight into your ears again and again. But if any of the 30,000 gods they’ve so far offended turn out to be real, I DON’T KNOW THESE PEOPLE. Well…except Jenn. In a God vs Jenn fight, my money is on Jenn.

Love this podcast!
September 4, 2018 by Heathens are we
I recently finished listening to the backlog and honestly, I’m sad that I have to wait all week for an episode now lol. I grew up an evangelical Christian and then converted to Mormon when I was 19. My family and I have been non-religious now for 4 years and atheist for about 2. We have slowly but successfully de-indoctrinated ourselves and our children (now 12 and 9) from all the twisted fairytales and bs that is religion. We are proud to raise our newest little addition (now 18 months) completely atheist from the start. Being that we live in Utah, it almost feels like we must stay underground, especially the kids, due to bullying from the other kids in the Jr. Mormon Mafia, so listening to you guys really helps bring a little normalcy and laughter to our little heathen corner in the Mormon Mecca. My kids don’t listen to the show of course, but I’ll kid-translate some of the more appropriate stuff to them and they enjoy it. Thank you for being so awesome, I recommend this podcast to anyone I know is too a non-believer

Thanks to everyone who joined us for episode 200’s Discord chat! We want to let everyone know what we’re going to be doing live-chats for episodes of 4 More Beers, and we’ll be recording one next week to air alongside 202. Stay tuned to your patron-twit-books for updates on a specific time. Going forward 4 More Beers Discord announcements will happen as announcements as a will solidify a schedule. For this episode… well… get on them socials. We’ll Lens it too, for those of you using Patreon’s Lens.

Hotshots

Aaron

In Soviet Russia, Tank Ride You – http://bit.ly/2xcmO6h

The head of a “military-patriotic” organization in Russia set out to answer the age-old question: what if horse-drawn carriages were T-60 tanks?
Pavel Baraneenko sold tours of St. Petersburg waterfront. About $5 would get you a ticket to ride in the Soviet, WW2 era tank. Which is all fun and games… until your unlicensed tank pilot hits a “snag” and tosses himself and the two kids in the tank up and out of the turrety-person-hole and in front of the tank… which then ran them over. Thankfully no one was seriously hurt. Somehow. When they were run over by a fucking tank. The article buried the real question: what the actual fuck does a tank need to run over to bounce people out of it, and instead reported on arsonal the driver had back home. Which, like any good patriot, included a slew of sniper rifles, artillery and grenade launcher ammo, 40 AKs, and a fully grown attack crocodile. But why does moose-squirrel need tank, guns, and a crocodile? Because fuck you, that’s why.

Steve

Who Wants Free Pizza For Life? https://bbc.in/2xcWXfj

Dominos pizza learned the hard way last week that if you offer people free pizza for life then they will do stupid shit to get it. All the people had to do was get a tattoo of the Domino’s logo “on a visible spot” of their bodies. Problem is that apparently, Russians don’t give a shit and way too many of them went out and did just that. So many people went for it that Domino’s was forced to impo9se strict rules including limiting the offer to the first 350 to post pics of the tats on social media as well as the tattoo must be at least 2cm long, and clarifying what passes as “visible parts of the body”. So, what would you do to get up to 100 free pizzas a year for a century (10,000 total)?

Aaron

Boom Goes The Power Outage… – http://bit.ly/2x9OTv0

Bridgeport Conn. had a power outage a little while ago. Thunderstorms knocked out the lines. It happens. So like most people do an unnamed mother of two went looking for candles. Unfortunately, they prepare for power outages the way I do – chips, beer, an Xbox on a UPS… but no candles. I mean, what are we cavemen? Using open flame for light instead of the soothing full-spectrum glow of wifi connected, Plex aware, smart LED bulbs… ugh. Anyway, in what I assume was a fit of desperation she sunk to setting alight some of the tall wick-bearing cylinders she found in her basement.

They were not candles.

Dynamite.

They were dynamite.

A few minutes after meekly illuminating the families living room the light quickly became blinding… Because it was accompanied by an explosion that tore the house the fuck up. Luckily no one died but most of the family will need to be treated for not-a-candle based shrapnel injuries. Also, no charges of possession fucking dynamite will be laid, because they clearly didn’t know they owned fucking dynamite.

Steve

Douche Dine and Dash https://cnn.it/2xgZTI3

Paul Gonzales is accused of 11 counts of extortion and two more of attempted extortion for being a complete and total fuck head douche-bag. His MO was to hook up with women using dating sites like Bumble, meet them at expensive restaurants, have some charming conversation and order pricy food. He’d then eat quickly, and feign needing to take an important call, then take the fuck off and leave the date with the check. Apparently many just paid the bill. At least one got the place to comp it, but most importantly, the fucker got caught and is currently in jail with bail set at $315,000. He also pulled a similar stunt at least twice in hair salons, getting his hair colored then skipping out on the bill.

Aaron

Not All that Lost In Translation… http://bit.ly/2x9fB7Q

Apparently forgetting that Google translate is a thing… or at that people can be bilingual, School board candidate Josephine Zhao is running an unorthodox campaign in San Francisco. She’s been proud to tell people, in English, that she supports “all gender” labeled bathrooms in schools. Which sounds great… Until you subscribe to her WeChat – a communication favorite among San Fran’s Chinese – and discover that her non-English promotional moves are decidedly less gender neutral, and a little more gender bigoted. The text blast went out to 480 of her closest friends, letting them know her support of trans inclusion was “for external people”. Boldy, this isn’t even the first time this has happened, in 2013 she literally did the same thing, claiming her disdain for the trans community was even more well-known than Trump’s. Because that’s a goal post you want to pass… Going so far as to call her Chinese rival “a race traitor”, a term popularized by the KKK. So… that’s all terrible and if you’re in the area, don’t vote for her. Because she’s terrible.

This Week’s Stories

Patron Story

Nature is Striking the Fuck Back, So Look Out Fellas

• http://bit.ly/2x9fIQO
• http://bit.ly/2x9fMQy
• http://bit.ly/2x9fR6O

Ever wonder how it was physically possible for your great-grandparents to have like 10 kids (and that’s just the survivors)? Well, sperm was better. No, seriously. Apparently, sperm just isn’t doin’ it’s damn thing like it used to.

This saga of a pending spermpocalypse has been making news rounds for several years. A 2013 study of more than 26,000 French men, for example, found that sperm concentrations have dropped by nearly 2 percent each year from 1996 to 2005.

Well, it appears science has begun to understand what and why this is going on.

In a new report by GQ, journalist Daniel Noah Halpern interviewed several scientists and specialists, including epidemiologists, endocrinologists, biologists and various researches about the decline in sperm, and what it means for the future of humanity. From the report:

“…Sperm counts per milliliter of semen down by more than 50 percent since 1973, but total sperm counts were down by almost 60 percent: We are producing less semen, and that semen has fewer sperm cells in it…

Testosterone levels have also dropped precipitously, with effects beginning in utero and extending into adulthood. One of the most significant markers of an organism’s sex is something called anogenital distance (AGD)—the measurement between the anus and the genitals. Male AGD is typically twice the length of female, a much more dramatic difference than height or weight or musculature. Lower testosterone leads to a shorter AGD, and a measurement lower than the median correlates to a man being seven times as likely to be subfertile and gives him a greater likelihood of having undescended testicles, testicular tumors, and a smaller penis…Men are producing less sperm. They’re also becoming less male.”

(side note: it’s problematic linking the aspect of maleness to testosterone only, but sounds like cis-dudes were the main contributors here)

So what does this mean? We’re seeing both biological/genetic effects, as well as environmental. One of the biggest outside factor seems to comes from what scientists call ‘endocrine disruptors’, and they are EVERYWHERE.

“It turns out that many of the compounds used to make plastic soft and flexible (like phthalates) or to make them harder and stronger (like Bisphenol A, or BPA) are consummate endocrine disruptors. Phthalates and BPA, for example, mimic estrogen in the bloodstream. If you’re a man with a lot of phthalates in his system, you’ll produce less testosterone and fewer sperm. If exposed to phthalates in utero, a male fetus’s reproductive system itself will be altered: He will develop to be less male.

Women with raised levels of phthalates in their urine during pregnancy were significantly more likely to have sons with shorter anogenital distance as well as shorter penis length and smaller testes. “When the [fetus’s] testicles start making testosterone, which is about week eight of pregnancy, they make a little less,” Swan said. “That’s the nub of this whole story. So phthalates decrease testosterone. The testicles then do not produce proper testosterone, and the anogenital distance is shorter.”

Those chemicals—phthalates.BPAs—are found in water bottles, food containers, sales receipts, gelling agents, lubricants, binders, emulsifying agents, suspending agents, the coating of pills and nutritional supplements, medical devices, detergents, packaging, paint, modeling clay, pharmaceuticals, textiles, sex toys, nail polish, liquid soap, hair spray and food, to name a few from the article. The effect of these endocrine disruptors increase over time and by generation, thus resulting in less sperm and testosterone, more quickly.

So, holy fucking shit, dudes are going to start having smaller and smaller dicks. If there was a ever a rallying cry to pay more attention to the environmental movement, it’s this. Dicks are involved so let’s get serious.

2nd Half: Still Not Done with Dudes & Dicks

An article from 2013 that didn’t actually go viral until 2016 is currently making the repeat rounds on social media. Not sure why it has popped up recently, but I missed it the first time and have seen it in the last week at least 4 or 5 times. I finally broke down and read it and…whoo boy, it needs to be addressed. (I posted it on our FB page and have gotten some funny and fierce reactions from a few of our lovely lady listeners.) In case anyone is still confused as to why the #MeToo movement was formed and is necessary, maybe this will help some.

The article I am referring to comes from The Modern Man website and is titled ‘How to Talk to a Woman Who is Wearing Headphones’. Now, before I go any further, can we spot the issue from the title alone?

The article link now first goes to a list of mostly female testimony defending it, but I will get to that more a bit later. You have to scroll through multiple pages of ‘those women are whiny feminists’ before you get to the actual treasure.

Article intro: ‘These days, many women are walking around playing with a smartphone or tablet device and are often wearing headphones and listening to music at the same. Yet that doesn’t mean you can’t talk to them. Even crazy feminists who Tweet or comment that they would punch a guy for talking to them, will pretty much instantly melt and be nice when a confident guy walks up and says hello.

So, don’t believe the insane rants from crazy feminists online.’

Now, grade 3 writing level aside, this is bad start.

One of my favorite pieces of shit advice:

I realize this is often debated and hard to accept, but most women aren’t, barely conscious curved flesh bags, bumbling our way through an existence that is meaningless until a man arrives to guide us. We generally do understand pantomiming. If we don’t comply, WE DON’T WANT TO. But he finished this bit of gold with ‘In most cases, you won’t have to go to this extreme, but some girls are shy and will be hesitant to take the headphones off right away because they are feeling a lot of nervousness and excitement about what it happening.’

urk

Also, this is an actual interaction he imagines:

Man: [Smile and say in a friendly, easy-going manner manner] Hey – how you doing? I was walking along and saw you with your little headphones on and thought – wow, she’s hot, I have to come over and say hi you. I’m Dan, what’s your name?

Woman: Jessica.

Man: [Add in some light humor to get her smiling and create a spark between you] Jessica…let me guess. You were listening to heavy metal music, right?

Woman: [Most likely laughing and saying] No, I was listening to [most likely latest pop music]

Man: Oh, that’s cool. You had me worried there. I thought you were like a heavy metal girl who likes head banging at concerts.

Woman: [Possibly smiling or laughing].

A few other gems: ‘Women know that is the man’s role to be confident enough to walk over and talk to a woman he finds attractive, so they have a chance to meet… Of course, some women do approach (e.g. in response to a dare by friends, or when very drunk), but most women wait for a guy who has the balls to walk over and start a conversation.’

So who is the master pick-up artist who penned such an important piece of sociological literature? His name is Dan Bacon (insert ‘chauvinist pig’ joke here) an Aussie who labels himself a ‘Dating & Relationship Expert.’ So no apologies for blowing giant, vagina-shaped holes in his ‘advice’.

He also pens articles with such illustrious titles as: ‘Are You Dating Her or Her Mother’, with the groundbreaking information that a woman may look like her mother. A quote: If your girlfriend’s features closely resemble her mother’s, it’s a good bet that as she ages, she’s going to look more like her mother.

Look around for family photos. If her mother was a slim stunner when she was younger, but has put on more than a couple of pounds over the years and is really showing her age, yes, your girlfriend can easily develop those same physical traits without much effort.

This is definitely something to take into account so you don’t regret your choice of woman in the future.

‘Having Sex With a Single Mother’, ‘3 Reasons Men are Attracted to Breasts (note: Only 3?), ’Why Being Nice To Women Often Leads to Rejection’ ‘Why Do Women Expect Men to Do Everything?’ (“Essentially, a woman expects a man to make the first move, and lead her from a conversation, to kissing, sex and a relationship.”) and personal favorite ‘Sex Talk: When No Means Yes’.

In addition to the blog I’ve been referencing, he has a crew of dudes (The Modern Man Team, who report back on successes with bagging the best babe), a YouTube channel, and a book aimed at 13-14yr old boys. He claims to have had sex with 250 women.

So, here’s some real talk and advice from a living, breathing women, and it’ll be closing this out on a slightly more serious note: This sort of shit is very scary to women. What most men don’t seem to understand is that being accosted by a stranger on the street can make a woman literally fear for her life. “What does this guy actually want? If I ignore him will he scream at me? If I’m polite and answer will he start following me thinking I was giving him a signal?”

Using headphones is sometimes just enjoying music or podcasts, but it also handily doubles as a way to cruise through life without acknowledging comments, street calls or the more aggressive pursuers. This article and frivolous bullshit like it, with off-the-cuff ways to bypass a woman’s attempt to navigate the LITERAL WORLD autonomously, is infuriating.

News bulletin: WOMEN ARE NOT REQUIRED TO TALK TO MEN. Not on the street, the gym, the supermarket, the club. Nope, never. I’m sure most every women listening to this has had at least one of the following interactions with a stranger: been called a “bitch” or “stuck-up”, been asked to “smile”, followed for far longer than they wanted bc they made the mistake of answering a question or even giving the demanded smile.

Fellas, there’s not some sort of conspiracy from the ladies out there. You literally have a majority of the power. If you treat a woman as another human being, with requisite types of conversations, you won’t have to stress that we’re some sort of RPG-level puzzle to solve. You’ll understand when and who and how to talk to have conversations with people of all genders.

To sum this up with a quote often attributed to author Margaret Atwood: “Men are afraid women will laugh at them. Women are afraid men will kill them.” And dismissive, toxically masculine clap-trap such as produced by Dan Bacon doesn’t make women feel any better or more inclined to take out their fucking headphones.

Next Week’s Beer

Session Series IPL | Omaha’s Brickway Brewery
From: Brendon

• BA Link: http://bit.ly/2o5ZpiR
• BA Rating: 3.58/5
• Style: American Pale Lager
• ABV: 5%

Faith In Humanity Restored

Go Team India! – http://bit.ly/2xbaiVp

The Supreme Court of India has just passed a historic ruling: homosexuality is no longer a criminal offense.

The court repealed Section 377, a 150-year-old law that was instituted during British colonial rule which made the consensual sexual activity that went “against the law of nature” punishable by up to a lifetime in prison.

The new ruling, which was announced by a 5-judge panel in Delhi earlier this week, marks the end of a century’s worth of anti-gay legislation.

“The LGBTQ community has the same fundamental rights as citizens. The identity of a person is very important and we have to vanquish prejudice, embrace inclusion and ensure equal rights,” said Chief Justice of India Dipak Misra, according to TIME.

“Intimacy and privacy is a matter of choice. We have to bid adieu to stereotypes and prejudices,” he added.

So yeah, go India!

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