Episode 204 – The One Where Goats Lose Their Heads For Kinder Eggs

In This Week’s Show, episode 204, we christen a new studio with hot wings, beer, and terrible jokes!

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In This Week’s Show, episode 204, we christen a new studio with hot wings, beer, and terrible jokes! Now, grab a beer and help us test the god hypothesis — because, while Anu-mate (Maori space and death deity) hasn’t struck us down yet, we are trying his patience! Shea’s Life Lesson This week I learned that Jenn’s Actual Lesson Did you know that Samhaim was one of 4 major Celtic seasonal festivals and was the Autumn harvest? It (per the internet) translates from Gaelic to ‘summer’s end’. But before we get to all that, let’s have a beer!

This Week’s Beer

Brendon’s Golden Frau - Honey wheat - Thunderhead breweries
  • BA Link: http://bit.ly/2xZprtx
  • BA Rating: 3.41/5
  • Style: American Pale Wheat Ale
  • ABV: 7.5%
  • Aaron: 7
  • Jenn: 6
  • Shea: 4

This Week’s Show

Round Table Discussion We moved! Wrathful studios is now located at Radio Row in lovely, downtown, Oakland Cali… wait, no, that’s 99pi… but we did move into a new studio that’s a little more … indoors … so hopefully the temps won’t be such an element. Best of all this new space has allowed us to set up a proper backdrop for Discord video! So if you want to join us live for the next patron only 4 More Beers, make sure you sign up at Patreon.com/w4w - which also gets you longer shows with exclusive patreon only content! Just like these amazing people!
  • Freethinker215
  • Am (yep. Am)
No iTunes reviews Presents! Mugs and beer from Steve E! It was 307 Craftworks! and you should check out what he does because it’s great!

Hotshots!

Naked Kidnapping For Jehovah God http://bit.ly/2RqdWmV Three people arrested in Canada after kidnapping neighbors and driving recklessly in order to avoid the rapture. The bizarre case first made headlines in November 2017 after the Royal Canadian Mounted Police were called to the scene of a car crash in an industrial park in Nisku, south of Edmonton. On arrival, officers said the group were chanting "Jehovah" and refused to exit the vehicle. Officers added that the people in the SUV “displayed extreme strength”, were unaffected by pepper spray and did not relent when shot with Tasers. (The power of Christ compelled them…) Apparently, the strange behavior all started a few days before when the suspects traveled to Leduc, Alberta, to visit family. During the three-day gathering, they are believed to have refused to leave the house and barely ate. They eventually came to believe they had lived through the Great Tribulation, a period of suffering which some evangelical Christians believes foreshadows part of the biblical "End Times”. Believing they were in imminent danger, the group fled the house to find safety and none of the family – except the mother – managed to get dressed. So most of them were naked FYI They made a pit stop at a neighbor’s house and forced a man, his adult daughter, and her six-week son into their BMW SUV. The man was forced into the boot of the vehicle and his daughter was put in the back seat with her child. The victims were able to escape after the vehicle slowed down and before the woman driving collided with another car and then crashed into a ditch. All three adult is scheduled to return to court on 20 December. Stop Kidding Around… Goats. http://bit.ly/2zSrEbs Hundreds of mountain goats in Olympic National Park, WA are being rounded up because they’re basically crack addicts. Having worked in a national park I’m sure Jenn has seen this scourge… piss-drunk goats! It turns out that, somehow… and I really don’t want to know how Olympic park goats have had enough access to human urine and sweat that they’ve become addicted to the salt content and are eating people’s sweaty clothes… and pissy pants I suppose? The article is pretty clear these goats have a piss fetish, but they’re surprisingly-for-the-internet sparse on details about how a goat scores a fix, though, Park officials urged walkers not to urinate along trails, to avoid turning paths into “long, linear salt licks” and attracting more cracked out goats. It can’t be that difficult though because there are some 600 strung out goats in the region. Apparently, one even stalked and murdered a 63-year-old man in 2010 to score some sweet, sweet, terror pee, which I assume is the primo-shit… you know, for goats. Initially, the plan was to build a wall to keep the scary cartel-goats at baaaaaay. But funding dried up when the big mountain-goat lobby got involved. Instead, they're going to Airlift 375 of the non-native grumpy animals out. The goal of the relocation is to transport 100 goats by September 24, and the rest within the next 12-months. Authorities said they expected to shoot another 300 or so that cannot be caught or are too far gone for urinthenal clinics to help. New Zealand Immediately Stops Stupid http://bit.ly/2yeXzk9 An anti-vaccination group’s billboard was taken down in New Zealand less than 48 hours after it went up after the government’s Advertising Standards Authority received 140 complaints about it. The anti-vax group WAVES (Warnings About Vaccine Expectations) is the group behind this billboard and they are dedicated to spreading misinformation about science. WAVES NZ defended the billboard on their Facebook page, stating that the billboard “poses the question of whether or not people would vaccinate if they knew what vaccines contained, as many parents aren’t aware of the contents of a vaccine”. On another post, it says it has not breached any advertising guidelines as the billboard simply “poses a question”… Nothing like a convoluted confusing billboard to sway the uneducated, too bad New Zealand educates their people. In the case of vaccines, it’s possible the ingredients may sound scary to people not knowledgeable about what they do. The experts who do understand them, however, will tell you there’s nothing to fear. They know what’s inside and they know your children (and the rest of society) are better off getting their shots. Shirts Are Sexist, Not Sexists!
  • http://bit.ly/2zSQ5pb
  • http://bit.ly/2zU2hGl
  • http://bit.ly/2RqdNzT
There’s been a lot of news about this #MeToo thing lately, but we’ve finally found the line - putting it on your shirt instead of Twitter… Our story begins with 43-year-old Dodgers fan Haley Pollock outraging people with her chest-based feminist display… which was not her boobs, but a shirt with a silhouette of Fallopian Freedom Fighter, Vigilante Justice! The black and white uterus clipart was captioned with “No Country For Old Men.” As the game began she was approached by security who insisted she open her jacket for a good long look so they could decide if it was “offensive” - spoiler alert, it was and she was asked to leave. Frustratingly, her fellows at the game sporting “She wants the D” shirts, referencing a stylized D for Dodgers, were, apparently, A-Ok. Moving from the major leagues to JV (Shea, did I get that sports right?) we’re off to A Wisconsin high school where an unnamed, 17-year-old, student was sent home for her shirt. Over the summer the otherwise lanky girl had “developed” - her mom’s words, not mine - and upon returning to school was repeatedly groped by her male peers. Efforts to stop the harassment were in vain, the students didn’t care and the principal said “the boys were just joking around and teasing her and she shouldn't take it so seriously,” and after her mother complained, “[she] wasn't making it clear enough to these boys that she didn't want to be touched.” So, taking Principal shithead’s advise she made a shirt that reads “boys are not allowed to touch me” in large bold lettering. She was sent home, being told “[...] that her shirt was sexist because it implied that ‘men are animals.’ [The Principal said] that he was considering expulsion over her T-shirt because it was harassment.” The mother and daughter are reaching out to the ACLU to sue. Closing on a higher note, convicted rapist and predator Bill Cosby is in jail now where it was reported that on his first day he was hit with a hotdog bun and bloobidly-fowoop-doupped down a flight of stairs, shattering his pride. Gay Couple Kidnap Baby. http://bit.ly/2zSeTh6 A video has recently surfaced in which a homosexual male couple can be seen kidnapping a baby while its parents are busy bathing. It is believed the couple took the baby because they believed the parents were being neglectful. Later, the parents confronted the gay couple and drama ensued, captured on video and posted to the Danish Odense Zoo Facebook page. I should probably mention that the altercation happened at the zoo because both couples live there in the Arctic enclosure, they are all Emperor penguins. Odense Zookeeper Sandie Hedgegard Munck said the zoo's male penguins, who she said is gay, took the chick while its parents were away, Denmark's broadcaster DR reports. Munck told the station the male couple could have thought the chick's parents were neglectful and believed they could be better parents. So, the same-sex couple nestled the chick and cared for it as if it were their own. Eventually, a zookeeper had to step in and give the chick back to its parents. Mama takes charge, securing the chick between her legs. But, the same-sex couple wasn't left completely childless. The zoo has given the males an egg from a mother who is unable to care for it.

Second Half

Patreon Eggs - Available now at Patreon.com/W4W http://bit.ly/2RqdNQp Remember kids, don’t do drugs. Just drink. It’s … not a drug? Heroin addict Vincent Rutter, 56, had been “desperate” to get his next fix when he tried to retrieve the drugs from Jodine Harvey after they had spent the last day taking an “extraordinary amount” of drugs together. I’m not sure what constitutes an “extraordinary amount” of drugs, but having read the story, you’re going to want to triple whatever you were guessing… Now, mrs. Harvey keeps her drugs … well, hidden. I mean, well hidden. So when she and her boyfriend awoke to find Vincent scrounging around to find them, they were pretty pissed off. And no Shea, the heroin was not in her sock drawer, she kept her heroin in the only safe place one can, in a Kinder egg… in her business… Harvey woke screaming in the “pitch black” to find Vincent rummaging around in her knickers with a few fingers and a serious jones. She and boyfriend Steve Brown, 40, attacked Mr. Rutter – subjecting him to a campaign of violence that lasted 36 hours and that left with him 17 fractured ribs, a punctured lung and a lacerated spleen. Judge Simon Carr, sitting at Truro Crown Court, said the case provided an insight into the murky world of criminality linked to Class A drug addiction. He said: “You’d all gone to sleep having taken drugs for over 24 hours. You two were asleep on the chairs when Mr. Rutter came in and tried to remove a Kinder egg of drugs you, Miss Harvey, had in your vagina. “It was not a sexual act, just one of someone desperate to get their next fix. “Miss Harvey you woke up to find a man with his fingers in your vagina and in the pitch black didn’t know it was Mr. Rutter. “Mr. Brown you woke up and attacked the man and Mr. Rutter was then the victim of a sustained beating for which there can be no excusing.” The trio had been at Mr. Rutter’s flat in St Austell, Cornwall, in December last year when the attack unfolded. Mr. Rutter, who had been attacked for hours in the hall and bathroom, eventually managed to escape while his attackers slept. Start of Halloween: Due to how awful the current news cycle has been been on my sanity, I’m starting the Halloween celebration early. To distance us from every dumpster fire burning in DC, I’m here to discuss something more light-hearted: cults and murders. (Anything has to be better than discussing goddamn Kavanaugh.) So be prepared, I’m probably doing spooky for the rest of the month as the news purge hasn’t let up in 2 years. So to brighten up our lives, I present The Evangelist Massacre. Our story’s main player is Benny Evangelist (not kidding), who lived in Detroit, MI in the early 20th Century. Carpenter and realtor by day, cult leader by night, Benny was actually born Benjamin Evangelista in Sicily and changed his name upon immigration to the United States. Apparently, he felt locked in to a particular life choice due to his surname, bc starting in 1906 he began to receive visions from God. So whatcha gonna do when Jehovah comes for you? cue COPs music You become a self-proclaimed “Divine Prophet” and head up a small religious sect called, stupidly, the United Federation of America. He set himself up a nice little Occult shop in his family home on St. Aubin Ave. where he performed psychic readings for $10 a session (about 2 days wages for working men at the time). It was said that if a passerby cocked his head just right, he could see inside a basement window and view Benny’s "Great Celestial Planet Exhibition.” Using papier-mâché, wires and wood, he had built nine planets and a sun with an electric eye that sat in the center. Normal... Yes, Benny was quite the arts and craftsman. In addition to the Great Celestial Pumpkin Charlie Brown blah blah blah...he also made wax and papier-mâché ‘gods’/effigies, which I don’t know if it’s bc they are in black and white but they are LITERALLY the stuff of nightmares: In addition to creepy dolls and psychic readings, Mr. Evangelist also had his family living at the house: wife Santina, three daughters and a baby son. Hopefully, downstairs was locked bc the basement chamber was apparently where Benny practiced his infernal rituals. It was in that place, where he mixed up spells, hexes, and potions, and carried out his magical sacrifices, he kept a crude altar along with knives, bottles, and jars. And, of course, creepy, creepy wax dolls. He also fancied himself quite the author and wrote (and self-published) a 4-part ‘Bible’ with the not-silly-at-all title of "The Oldest History of the World: Discovered by Occult Science". He planned multiple follow-ups, but unfortunately, God didn’t let him in on what was going to take place on July 3rd (or possibly the night of the 2nd), 1929. On the evening of the 2nd, Benny stopped by a property that was set to be demolished the next day. He spoke to the watchman, indicating he was to back in the morning to purchase the lumber from the razed building. A truck with workmen was also scheduled to arrive with him to gather the wood. Verifying that, he left for home… cue suspenseful music In case you weren’t paying attention, this is a murder story, so he did NOT arrive to retrieve the lumber in the morning. It was soon understood why, but oddly, the truck and workers he had hired also didn’t show. And that has never been determined why, but hmmm… Anyway, later that morning a realtor named Vincent Elias arrived at the home for a pre-scheduled meeting with Benny, but found absolutely not what he was looking for. Benny was seated at his desk, with his hands folded in his lap. Unfortunately for Mr. Evangelist, he head was discovered sitting(?) in a totally different chair. His wife was found also decapitated in the bed in the same room, with the body of their 18mo old son. Their 3 daughters were in the bedroom across the hall, also dead, bludgeoned on their heads by what officials felt was an ax. So I guess that’s the end of the ‘United Federation of America’. Despite police moving quickly to apprehend the culprit(s), there were few clues (a few bloody fingerprints and a no-show lumber crew were about the extent). An interesting, creepy side story, when Benny first immigrated he came to the US he quickly went to the city of York, PN with a man named Aurelius Angelino (not a pope or emperor). Something snapped in Angelino and in 1919, he attacked his family with an ax and killed two of his children. He was sent to a prison for the criminally insane and Benny, understandably unsettled by what had occurred, then moved to Detroit. So ten years later…? It turns out, in 1923 Aurelius McKillius escaped from the Pennsylvania prison (for the criminally insane) where he was incarcerated — and was never seen again. Hmmm… Nothing was ever proven, and no real suspects even emerged. My personal favorite explanation (rumor), however, involves a woman named Rose Veres, aka The Witch of Delray (dibs on her for Halloween). Two months after the slaying she was convicted of killing up to 10 men (mainly lodgers at her home) and, being active in the Dark Arts socials or whatever of the time, perhaps she felt Benny was encroaching on her turf. No evidence links her to the family slaying and she was eventually exonerated of the boarder murders in 1945, but I just wanted to talk about her. So finally, the house on St. Aubin St. where the Evangelist family met their end was eventually torn down, without answers. Only a grass lot remains, though rumors still swirl that a headless spectre still haunts the grounds.

Next Week's Beer

Meadowlark - Ole Gus Scott-style Ale From: RW

Faith In Humanity Restored

http://bit.ly/2y2Z5qn Over the weekend, U.S. Olympic ice hockey forward Meghan Duggan married longtime Canadian rival Gillian Apps.

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