Episode 254 – The One Where We Make Jellyfish Borscht for Ancient Lemur Wizards

In This Week’s Show, episode 254, we go full spiritualist on the Nazis and full mythical on Milwaukee.

In This Week’s Show, episode 254, we go full spiritualist on the Nazis and full mythical on Milwaukee.

Now, grab a beer and help us test the god hypothesis — because, while Giant three-eyed Lemurians haven’t struck us down yet, we are trying their patience!

Then protect your damn internet traffic with Private Internet Access!

Shea’s Life Lesson

This week I learned that if you have ten apples in one hand and six apples in the other, you have really big hands.

Jenn’s Actual Lesson

Did you know that Gondwana is the 4th most recent supercontinent? It lasted until the Jurassic Period and broke apart about 180 million years ago.

But before we get to all that, let’s have a beer!

This Week’s Beer

Breck Lager – Breckenridge Brewery

From – RW

  • BA Link: https://www.beeradvocate.com/beer/profile/2137/182686/
  • BA Rating: 3.52
  • Style: Lager
  • ABV: 4.5%
  • Aaron: 5
  • Jenn: 2
  • Shea: 5 < –Yep thats beer
  • Steve: 5

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Modern Spiritualism

Since we talked last week about the origins of spiritualism, and in just a few minutes Jenn will catch us up on the end of that, I thought “why not talk about spiritualism today?”… then I Googled…

Some things you simply shouldn’t Google…

So I’ll Just say upfront that the modern spiritualist landscape could not only fill this show and dozens more like it, but could easily be its own show… and in fact is if you count the gobs of podcasts that cater to spiritualists.

I knew iTunes had a pretty wide distribution, but to the dead!?!

As we talked about last week, modern spiritualism traces itself back to the Fox sisters. Who, upon later needing money, announced that their announcement of fraud was itself fraudulent. Because ghosts!

Following the Fox sisters, some wrap up from the BBC.

In the 1860’s one could sit for spirit photography – a practice “invented” by William H. Mumler when he accidentally took a double exposure and didn’t know what it was. Soon seances were everywhere and perpetually debunked practitioners like Daniel Dunglas Home – who “levitated” out of windows and back – captivated the imaginations of celebrities like Arthur Conan Dole, who in 1918 said the movement offered “infinitely nearer positive proof” than any other religion giving it way too much notoriety.

The first Spiritualist church opened in Keighly, Yorkshire in 1853. They published the Yorkshire Telegraph, the first spiritualist newspaper.

In 1882 the Society for Psychical Research was founded to use science to test spiritualist claims beginning a long tradition of shit going poorly for spiritualists.

In 1890 Keighly hosted the first Spiritualist conference. Later founding the first organization of Spiritualist churches in the UK as the Spiritualists’ National Federation, SNF.

This organization was succeeded in 1902 by the Spiritualists’ National Union. The SNU had 360 affiliated churches, and 18k members. Their American contemporary, the National Spiritualist Association of Churches, NSAC, was founded as the National Spiritualist Association in 1893, but we’ll catch up with the NSA shortly…

In the 1920’s the Catholic, Anglican, and other major religions admonished spiritualism at the Lembeth Conference. Despite this, by the 1930’s there were about 250,000 practicing spiritualists.

The Fraudulent Mediums Act of 1951 made it illegal for people to pretend to act as spiritualistic mediums for money or other reward. This act was repealed in April 2008, and fraudulent mediums are now covered by consumer protection legislation, namely The Consumer Protection from Unfair Trading Regulations 2008 (UK law).

Spiritualism, because of its inherent lack of definition – always a problem when trying to organize intentionally baseless, undefinable, bullshit – most large spiritualist groups recognize a loose set of tenants rather than a specific set of “beliefs” as such.

Many mix their beliefs with Christianity, which just changes spiritualist values like “The Fatherhood of God” to “I believe in one God who is Love” and the value “The Brotherhood of man” to “The Leadership of Jesus the Christ.” So… it mixes well with other nonsense.

The NSA, again the National Spiritualist Association, was founded with the hope that it would help interested persons “distinguish genuine mediumship“, whatever the fuck that means, from the rapidly proliferating varieties of fraudulent mediumship (read: non-dues paying mediums), “increase communication among Spiritualists, prevent the legal prosecution of spirit mediums under fortune telling and medical licensing laws, and counterattacks by ‘orthodox’ ministers in the press.“”

Eventually becoming The National Spiritualist Association of Churches, the NSAC seems to be the largest and most cohesive American group. Spiritualism, as defined by NASC, has nine principles which provide more information about Spiritualist beliefs:

  1. We believe in Infinite Intelligence.
    Which, oddly, none of them seem to have. Bazinga!
  2. We believe that the phenomena of Nature, both physical and spiritual, are the expression of Infinite intelligence.
    Because why the fuck not?
  3. We affirm that a correct understanding of such expression and living in accordance therewith, constitute true religion.
    Because tax breaks…
  4. We affirm that the existence and personal identity of the individual continue after the change called death.
  5. We affirm that communication with the so-called dead is a fact, scientifically proven by the phenomena of Spiritualism.
    unfortunately, none of them have bothered to prove the definition of “scientifically”
  6. We believe that the highest morality is contained in the Golden Rule: ‘Whatsoever ye would that others should do unto you do ye also unto them.
    Appeal to pseudo-ancient gibberish, check.
  7. We affirm the moral responsibility of the individual, and that we make our own happiness or unhappiness as we obey or disobey Nature’s physical and spiritual laws.
    blah blah, power of the mind, blah blah, that’s not what “responsibility” means
  8. We affirm that the doorway to reformation is never closed against any human soul here or hereafter.
    … Is that you Full Metal?
  9. We affirm that the precepts of Prophecy and Healing contained in all sacred texts are Divine attributes proven through Mediumship.
    Even the Necronomicon.

Over the years, arguments about “What Spiritualism Is and Does” and “Spiritual Healing” have fractured the already poorly defined practice. The two issues of “reincarnation” and the relation of Spiritualism to Christianity have been the major questions dividing Spiritualists.

These arguments were adopted into NSAC in October 1914, 1919, 1930, 1950 during the organization’s annual conventions to bring splitters back into the fold:

  • Spiritualism is the Science, Philosophy and Religion of continuous life, based upon the demonstrated fact of communication, by means of mediumship, with those who live in the Spirit World. (1919)
  • Spiritualism Is a Science Because it investigates, analyzes and classifies facts and manifestations demonstrated from the spirit side of life.
  • Spiritualism Is a Philosophy because it studies the Laws of Nature both on the seen and unseen sides of life and bases its conclusions upon present observed facts. It accepts statements of observed facts of past ages and conclusions drawn therefrom, when sustained by reason and by results of observed facts of the present day.
  • Spiritualism Is a Religion because it strives to understand and to comply with the Physical, Mental and Spiritual Laws of Nature, which are the laws of God.
  • A Spiritualist is one who believes, as the basis of his or her religion, in the communication between this and the Spirit World by means of mediumship and who endeavors to mould his or her character and conduct in accordance with the highest teachings derived from such communication. (1914, Rev. 1938)
  • A Medium is one whose organism is sensitive to vibrations from the spirit world and through whose instrumentality, intelligences in that world are able to convey messages and produce the phenomena of Spiritualism. (1914)
  • A Spiritualist Healer is one who, either through one’s own inherent powers or through mediumship, is able to impart vital, curative force to pathologic conditions. (1930, 1993)
  • The Phenomena of Spiritualism consists of Prophecy, Clairvoyance, Clairaudience, Gift of Tongues, Laying on of Hands, Healing, Visions, Trance, Apports, Levitation, Raps, Automatic and Independent Writings and Paintings, Voice, Materialization, Photography, Psychometry and any other manifestation proving the continuity of life as demonstrated through the Physical and Spiritual senses and faculties of man. (1950)

If any of that sounds like something you can’t live… or die without… you can join head to Milwaukee – gathering place of all things mythical and bullshit – next week from Sept. 29 to Oct. 4th. According to the NSAC newsletter I’m now subscribed to, they will help you become a certified* National Spiritualist Teacher.

They also have a Ministerial Skills Course, a new 27-lesson course called Spiritualism: A religion of Happiness, Individual Study programs with… people, a new course called Message to the World—Knowledge Saves Us, through Lesson 27: Happiness is Our Religion—From Darkness to Light, a Gratitude Corner, and they’ll be selling new NSAC approved books: Astral Projection for Beginners, Out-of-Body Exploring: A beginners Approach (to peeping, because what the fuck else would you use this power for), and of course Out-of-Body Experiences: How to Have Them and What to Expect. (fucked caps theirs)

Needless to say this is a buffet of nonsense that I will definitely be coming back to.

Extra Crap

It’s stupid and funny, but we won’t get to it for time reasons. Most of this is copied from the Wiki article on NSAC or the BBC’s now off-line page on Spiritualism.

You could become an active member of the Fox Property Project which started in 1998 when the Hydesville property was acquired by the NSAC and a memorial park was designed. This was the home of the Fox family and the property in which Modern Spiritualism began. The site of the Fox cottage in Hydesville, New York is thought to be a Mecha for all Spiritualists and its restoration is supported by the descendants of the Fox sisters.

They also have a handful of “Beliefs” which are different from the other beliefs because stop asking questions.

The Fatherhood of God

  • The creative force in the universe is what Spiritualists know as God
  • That force created life in the beginning and still does so today

The Brotherhood of Man

  • All human beings are members of one divine family because they spring from the same creative force

The Communion of Spirits and the Ministry of Angels

  • All religions believe in life after death but only Spiritualism shows that it is true by showing that communication with departed spirits actually occurs
  • Spiritualist Churches provide one of the venues where communication, through mediumship, is possible

The continuous existence of the human soul

  • Matter (being part of the creative force, or energy) cannot be destroyed; it merely changes its form. Spirit, as part of the Creative Force is, therefore, indestructible.
  • On the death of the physical body, the spirit continues as an integral part of the spiritual world
  • The spiritual world interpenetrates this material world, but in a different dimension
  • In spirit life we have a spirit body, which, until we progress far enough, is a replica of our earthly body
  • Individuals in the spirit world remain the same individuals with the same personalities and characteristics
  • Individuals in the spirit world only progress through their own efforts
  • Individual personal responsibilities do not stop at death.

Personal responsibility

  • Each individual is responsible for their wrongful thoughts and deeds
  • No other person, or outside influence can interfere with an individual’s spiritual development, unless they allow them to

Compensation and retribution hereafter for all the good and evil deeds done on earth

  • As you sow, so shall you reap
  • The compensatory or retributive effects of this law operate now – they do not wait until life in the Spirit World.

Eternal progress open to every human soul

  • Every human spirit has the power to progress in wisdom and love
  • The rate of progress is directly proportional to the desire for mental and spiritual understanding
  • Each spirit always has the opportunity to reform, and to deal with the wrong things it has done in the past

Show Story

  • http://www.unariunwisdom.com/the-seven-root-races/ (mostly bullshit)
  • https://www.independent.co.uk/voices/eugenics-ucl-toby-young-conference-how-it-became-mainstream-a8154316.html
  • https://www.thebereancall.org/content/eugenics-and-nazis (woo woo bullshit)
  • https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aryan_race
  • https://blavatskytheosophy.com/human-evolution-in-the-secret-doctrine/ (extra bullshit)
  • https://blogs.timesofisrael.com/blavatsky-judaism-and-nazism/ (really weird)
  • http://www.katinkahesselink.net/faq/ariosophy.html (woo-y, but some actual information)
  • http://www.unariunwisdom.com/the-seven-root-races/ (uuugh)
  • https://www.amazon.com/Occult-Roots-Nazism-Influence-Ideology/dp/0814730604 (gift idea for ME)

Picking up where we left off with Madame B Crazy, I have to note that this is the official point in my research where I have most likely ended up on some Federal list. Also, a huge chunk of my time was spent trying to strain the tiny granules of truth floating in a borscht of bullshit.

In case you may have forgotten, we left off with Helena recovering from her infected leg and marathon fever-dream writing of the 6 part ‘The Secret Doctrine’ (not 100% sure when one ended and the other began, but no one remembers dates really anyway).

A quick review of what we last spoke of, The Secret Doctrine detailed the ‘seven root races of humanity’. Who can name them? Before I get started, just getting this out of the way: the fantasy world building has some gaping ‘logic’ holes.

  1. Invisible astral jellyfish (aka in the teachings of theosophy as the Polar Race representing fire [wtf?])
  2. The bodiless Hyperboreans (who apparently resided near the North Pole and represented air)
  3. My personal favorite, the sex-enthused Lemurian lemurs with eyes in the back of their head (representing water).
  4. The Atlanteans who, for some stupid reason, represent earth (table top gaming REVOKED)
  5. I said last week and it is often written as ‘ourselves’. Well, SURPRISE! Technically this race is referred to as…Aryans. Yup. (Oh yeah, we still haven’t unlocked races 7 and 8.)

So yes! I’m starting this entry off with overtly racist fake-science! And probably ending it that way too.

Quickly, in an effort to present this somewhat fairly, most contemporary theosophists argue themselves into tizzies that our current idea of ‘the Aryan people’ is not what Blavatsky meant. There’s obviously more to this but I’m going to touch on the theosophist rebuttal after giving more info on the jellyfish and lemurs and racism and let you make your own determinations.

As the granddaughter of a horrible man who was a proud member of Aryan Nations (whose ranks include Timothy McVeigh and the members of the Ruby Ridge standoff), let me give a quick definition of what current garbage people mean by Aryan. Now, the actual-for-realsy definition, per Merriam-Webster, is:

of or relating to a hypothetical ethnic type illustrated by or descended from early speakers of Indo-European languages. With the knowledge that the word ‘hypothetical’ is in the real definition, here’s what is most often thought: used in Nazism to designate a supposed master race of non-Jewish Caucasians usually having Nordic features (giant eye roll).

Alright, that out of the way, the following quoted information regarding “humanity’s root races” all comes from unariumwisdom.com, which is just as valuable as it sounds.

No 1. the jellyfish:

“primarily spiritual, and did not leave any physical remains – they were “ethereal”, and were consequently composed of etheric energy/matter. Their reproduction was accomplished by them dividing similar to that of amoebas. Moreover, at the time of the 1st root race the earth was still cooling; and it is said that the first mountain to rise out of the chaotic primal ocean was “Mount Meru”.

No. 2: The 2nd root race lived in Hyperborea which includes what is now Northern Canada, Greenland, Iceland, Scandinavia, Northern Asia, and Kamchatka. The 2nd root race was colored golden yellow and the climate was tropical in consequence of the earth not having yet developed an axial tilt. The esoteric name of the 2nd root race’s continent is “Plaksha”, and they called themselves the “Kimpurshas”. This root race reproduced by budding; and today, there are no descendents. (sad day)

No. 3: The 3rd root race was the first race with physical bodies, and they were described as a black race of three eyed giants who inhabited the “lost continent” of Lemuria. (Whether this is a race of giant black lemurs with the three eyes in the back of their heads is not clear.) It is believed that this continent existed where the Indian and Pacific oceans now are. Modern theosophists identify Lemuria with the actual ancient supercontinent of Gondwana.

No. 4: Atlanteans (and nary a Jason Mamoa to be found, also none of the actually fun Atlantean mythos either). Historically speaking, Atlantis was first mentioned in two of Plato’s dialogues. All from distant-hand accounts, he talks both about how advanced it was as a civilization, the construct of the island civilization, and how it was destroyed by some ocean catastrophe. Now, per the theosophists:

According to Theosophy teachings, the 4th root race was called the “Atlantean” race. It appeared approximately 4,500,000 years ago in Africa, and originated from the 4th sub-race of the Lemurian root race…

The seven sub-races of the Atlantean root race are:

  1. The Rmoahal
  2. The Tlavati (Cro-Magnons)
  3. The Toltec (a Theosophical term which use for “American Indians”)
  4. The Turanian
  5. The original Semites (e.g., the Phoenicians, etc)
  6. The Akkadians
  7. The Mongolian (who migrated to and colonized East Asia)

According to traditional Theosophy, the 4th root race (Atlantean) began with golden brown skin, and because some Atlanteans migrated to the Americas and Asia they gradually evolved into the red American Indian, brown Malayan, and yellow Mongolian races – as well as some groups of what, in the late 19th and early 20th centuries, was referred to as the “olive-skinned” Mediterranean race.


For #4, here is the definition of the current Earth inhabitants and whatnot and is very reminiscent of the Book of Mormon. Also, this history is desperately edited so I’m not in this room for the rest of my life:

Theosophists believe that the Aryan root race was physically created by the Vaivasvatu Manu – one of the Masters of the Ancient Wisdom (remember them?Maybe not, I didn’t talk about them much, but they were briefly touched on in our last episode). The Aryan root race is white because it originates from a specific tribe of the 4th (original Semite) sub-race of the Atlanteans, which was white skinned and lived in the mountains of north-eastern Atlantis. … The original Aryan root race was comprised of 9,000 who migrated from Atlantis in 79,797 BC. A small group of these migrants split from the main body and went south to the shore of an inland sea in what was then a verdant and lush Sahara where they founded the “City of the Sun”. This city came to be ruled, about 70,000 BC, by an incarnation of the being who later became known as the “Ascended master, St. Germain”.

The main body of the Aryan migrants continued onwards to an island called the “white island” in the middle of what was then an inland sea in what is now the Gobi desert, where they established the “City of the Bridge”.

The “City of the Bridge” was built directly below the etheric city called “Shamballa” where Theosophists believe the governing deity of Earth, “Sanat Kumara”, dwells. Consequently, the evolution and development of the Aryan root race has been “divinely guided” by the being that Theosophists identify as “The Lord of the World”.

Theosophists believe that a large percentage of the people who live in the time of the period of the 5th root race are part of the 5th root race. However Blavatsky declared that some Semitic peoples have become “degenerate in spirituality”. She further asserted that some groups descended from the Lemurians are “semi-animal creatures”, and these include “the Tasmanians, a portion of the Australians, and a mountain tribe in China.” There are also “considerable numbers of the mixed Lemuro-Atlantean peoples produced by various crossings with such semi-human stocks — e.g. the Wild Men of Borneo, the Veddhas of Ceylon, most of the remaining Australians, Bushmen, Negritos, Andaman Islanders, etc.”

All these groups mentioned by Blavatsky are part of what was in the late 19th and most of the 20th century was called the Australoid race (except for the Bushmen, part of the Capoid race, which were believed by traditional Theosophists to have been descended from the Lemurians).

Blavatsky described the 5th root race:

“The Aryan races, for instance, now varying from dark brown, almost black, red-brown-yellow, down to the whitest creamy colour, are yet all of one and the same stock – the 5th root-Race – and spring from one single progenitor, which Hindus call Manu.

Theosophists believe that each root race has a separate and distinct progenitor.

The sub-races of the Aryan 5th root race include:

  • 1st sub-race – the Hindu
  • 2nd sub-race – the Arabian
  • 3rd sub-race – the Persian
  • 4th sub-race – the Celts
  • 5th sub-race – the Teutonic

6th sub-race – According to Blavatsky the 6th sub-race of the Aryan 5th root race will begin to evolve in the area of the United States in the early 21st century. This 6th sub-race of the Aryan root race will be called the Australo-American sub-race and is believed by Theosophists to be now arising from the Teutonic sub-race of the Aryan root race in Australia and in the Western United States (Many individuals of the new sub-race will be born in California.) and its surrounding nearby areas (i.e. the Australo-American sub-race is presently in the process of arising from the Anglo-American, Anglo-Canadian, Anglo-Australian and presumably also the Anglo-New Zealander ethnic groups). The 6th or Australo-American subrace will “possess certain psychic powers, and for this the pituitary body will be developed, thus giving an additional sense, that of cognising astral emotions in the ordinary waking consciousness. We may say that in general the 6th sub-race will bring in wisdom and intuition, blending all that is best in the intelligence of the 5th sub-race and the emotion of the 4th.”

Obviously Madame B had no clue the Trump administration was coming.

So it’s clear why someone who wanted some gobbledy-goo telling him his race was superior may have been drawn to Blavatsky’s writings (could it be Hitler?). But just to get this out of the way, Blavatsky was NOT a Nazi. Seeing as how she died in 1891 when Hitler was all of 2 years old, the title not really up for debate. However, despite what current theosophists try to portray, she had some…problematic views on race. The fact that the Society’s emblem has a pretty prominent swastika doesn’t help her cause much, despite the fact she did get there first.

One of theosophy’s biggest defense for what boils down to as ‘she’s only a little racist’ is that, of the three ‘objects’ of the theosophical society, the first rule of Crazy Club is there is no…wait, it’s that their organization accepts all people “without distinction of race, creed, sex or cast”. Additionally, per Katinka Hesselink of katinkahessellink.net, when successful the society would “break down racial and national antipathies and barriers; it will open the way to the practical realisation of Brotherhood of all men.

Now Katinka is the queen of the Blavatsky apologists, but at least she can write a somewhat coherent sentence, so most of my info on the theosophist rebuttal comes from her online writings as well as some excerpts from Nickolas Goodrick-Clarke’s 1985 book, The Occult Roots of Nazism: Secret Aryan Societies (I am on SUCH a watch list).

Goodrick-Clarke is not a Blavatsky apologist, just puts her writings into a broader societal and cultural context. Or, to put bluntly, there was a lot of worse stuff being written at the turn of the 20th century about the superiority of certain races. (Goodrick-Clarke did also refer to Theosophy as “monumental pseudoscience” so points to him. )

Back to Katinka, in a generalized nutshell, she claims the reason Blavatsky keeps getting blamed for anti-Semitic teachings actually comes from people’s changing thought patterns due to Social Darwinism, and that while some readers of ‘The Secret Doctrine’ did indeed start leaning to the Reicht (har har har), it was due to the science-ish-ness of Social Darwinism creating division in groups of people.

Now at this point Goodrick-Clarke and his book begin to merge ideas with Katinka that it’s not actually theosophists who’re the proponents of super-anti-Semitic doctrine. No, what people are actually thinking of is Ariosophy. What’s that? It’s an ideological system created and perpetrated by, no kidding, Guido von List and Jörg Lanz von Liebenfels. Basically it’s a white supremacy philosophy where Aryans are not only the supreme race (who created language), but the only one capable of enlightenment and the only true humans. From that last little nugget, Guido Von List actually coined the term “Theozoology”, which shall not be defined. (Also, he himself added the Von in his name in 1903 to sound more aristocratic, so he’s a putz.) He also was a reader and fan of guess what 6 part weirdo spiritual book series?

If you’ve watched the first Hellboy and/or 2nd Captain America movies you’ll know that there was quite the love of Norse mythology, magick, and assorted other occult goodness. It went all the way up to SS leader Heinrich Himmler, but I bet Steve has beaten me to this tidbit. Well most of the Nazi obsession with wacky-woo has Von List to thank as he pushed forward such mystical teachings as the power of runes, sun worship, merging with nature spirits, Hindu time cycles and magical artefacts. (Don’t be fooled with how fun that sounds, he was a horrible garbage monster.)

Now before I finish up, take a moment to envision what you think an early 20th century super-racist pseudo intellectual named Guido Von List looks like.

Final word: while Blavatsky may not be a full blown proto-Nazi, despite her mealy-mouthed mumbo jumbo about the harmony of humanity, she definitely had her share of racist, bigoted and harmful ideas. Sure, she may have wonked the worst of her teachings up with talk of Atlantis and practically indecipherable bullshit, but she’s not linked to the Nazis for no reason. And honestly, there’s no such thing as ‘just a little bit Nazi’.

Next Week’s Beer

Texas Tea from Bishop Cider Co.

  • Untapped Link: https://untappd.com/b/bishop-cider-company-texas-tea/2742498
  • UT Rating: 3.5
  • Style: Herbed/Spiced Cider
  • ABV: 6%

Happy Ending

Largest beach clean up yields hard shells results.


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